#he justifies it real fast is all i'm saying

[ilid]

I made the mistake of posting this on Reddit. Would not recommend, i ended up looking like this:

But it made me realize something: Kris and Berdly's unclear relationship might be a 4D chess move from Tricky Tony as a way of hammering Kris' identity to the player. But why would that be the case? The game already makes it pretty clear that Kris is their own person and is different from the player. Anyone that has played the game with their eyes open should've gotten this by now, right? Yes, and despite knowing this, we still project our own feelings onto Kris (myself included, i'm not innocent). Think about it, why would Toby make such a vague scene as the one with Ralsei? Why is it left so up to interpretation compared to everything else? Except... the scene is not really vague, it's only vague because it's Berdly. What if we change the names up a bit for the sake of argument: What if it was uhmm.... (let's pick someone random) Jockington!

❤️ Jockington * Jockington? (Ralsei would be just as confused, he doesn't know shit about Jockington or how absolutely cool he is) * Umm, you don't have to repeat yourself so loudly, Kris. * ... * I - you don't have to repeat yourself, Kris. * If, it's what you really want, Kris! * I'm sure Susie would be happy to see you, um, spread your wings sports? If we don't asume anything about Kris' opinion on Jockington, this reads more like Kris is making their choice clear while Ralsei is the confused one. Especially those last two lines, why would Ralsei say that if it wasn't out of reluctant understanding? It almost sounds like he's saying "You have shitty taste but i'm happy for you anyways".

Then, why is this scene vague anyways if the text is written like a sitcom gag?

Easy answer: Berdly is fucking annoying. Toby wants us to hate Berdly, he's egotistic and constantly tries to piss Kris (and by extension the player) off. His arc in Chapter 2 is not even dignifiying considering his "tragic backstory" barely justifies any of his flaws, he still acts like a douche up until his very last line of dialogue, and in Chapter 4 he REGRESSES back to being almost as bad as he was before. It's SOOOO easy to hate him, even the people who like him often say things like: "He's funny as a character but if he was my friend in real life i would hate him". So when the average Player comes across a scene like this one, they think "This can't be, Kris must hate Berdly just as much as i do! Surely there's an explanation for this!" and so everyone interpreted this scene as "Kris screaming while confused and angry!" even though nothing in the text confirms this at all. But we have proof that Kris doesn't hate Berdly at all, they play video games together on a regular basis: - If you check on him in his second battle it says "He usually only gets this mad when you play games together." - He mentions Kris wavedashing in Super Smashing Fighters - They played Minecrap together in Noelle's blogpost from the Spamton Sweepstakes. - They both compete in speedrunning leaderboards. Not only that but it's implied that Berdly berating Kris, is actually a mutual thing: - "He usually only gets this mad when you play games together." - Berdly seems used to being taunted by Kris. - Kris prank calls Berdly in Noelle's blogpost but helps him reinstall Minecrap after he accidentally uninstalled it. If you take all this into consideration it recontextualizes Kris and Berdly's entire dynamic, THEY'RE QUIPING! The thing is, this is all FLAVOR TEXT, and very easy to miss for the average player! So when Berdly taunts Kris, we only see Berdly's side, and it comes across as insults! We don't have the context to understand it until later! Even dialogue options like: - Telling Berdly to stand outside Rudy's hospital window so he can throw something at him. - "Running away as fast as possible" instead of talking to him in the Librarby. - Singing the wrong number song. What initially comes across as "Kris hates Berdly" options, is recontextualized as just their usual quips! This recontextualization hammers in the fact that WE DON'T KNOW KRIS, we don't know Berdly in the same way they do, and as a result of that, we don't experience things in the same way they do. Just like how Kris' gender identity is commentary on how people project gendered stereotypes onto nonbinary people, Kris and Berdly's relationship is commentary on how people project their opinions onto characters even when we don't know the full picture. Even if i'm wrong (I'm not) and Kris actually does hate Berdly or there's a secret third option, my point would still stand! (I would just be at the butt of the joke).

I'm tired of all the Kerdly deniers coping. I've seen so many people interpret this scene as Kris repeating Berdly's name out of confusion, disbelief or even anger, even though there's nothing in the text implying this.

Usually the other character's make it pretty clear that Kris sounds confused when we make them say something they don't want to say. There's a very specific choice of words here, "repeating yourself loudly" is very different from just "screaming", this specific wording implies Ralsei is the confused one and Kris is repeating themselves as clarification. But, i guess you could say Ralsei is not the most gifted when it comes to understanding social cues, you could kinda make a case for Ralsei either not understanding Kris' tone or maybe even purposefully avoiding mentioning it as to not "upset the player" or something. So how about hearing it from the bird himself? When Berdly asks Kris to join Queen's team, Berdly is perfectly capable of reading Kris' confusion.

But, if you choose to go with Berdly to the festival...

Berdly is INCREDIBLY FLUSTERED, and there's absolutely ZERO mention of any confusion from Kris.

Kerdly is inevitable.

[zmediaoutlet]

The Omaha Journal Star runs an obituary for Marshall Hall on their website. Short, unrevealing. The bigger death that day was of a grandmother, ninety-nine when she passed, beloved by twenty grandchildren, fixture at church, pillar of the community, and so on. In the print version of the paper Marshall Hall merited maybe two inches of grey space. Maybe just an inch.

"What are you doing?" Dean's tired and it doesn't come across mocking or nagging or pointed or—anything. He's folded onto the further bed, TV light playing across his face. "Got a job lined up?"

Some daylight scene on the show Sam hasn't been paying attention to and Dean's washed out paper-white. Too much like the hospital bed. Sam says, "Looking," which is vague enough that he could arguably not be lying, but Dean doesn't seem to care either way. He nods, eyes fixed on the television but who knows if he's taking it in, either.

Pale skin, pale lips. Sam's gut twists to look at him but they got the all-clear from the doctor—his heart, mechanically, is one hundred percent fine. If Sam asked Dean would say he was fine, too, and Sam would want to smack him except that Dean looks like he'd crack in half with any additional pressure. Although lately—Sam doesn't know. When they were kids he would've said he could predict every single dumb thing Dean would say and he'd make bets with himself sometimes on what'd come out next. His odds were better than even. After the years apart it's—different. Sometimes Dean gives him this look and Sam doesn't recognize him; sometimes Dean opens his mouth and what comes out is—not something Sam would've ever thought could be said, in their family. On this particular night he might ask, and Dean might say—anything.

The show goes to commercial. A Chevy dealer in the county over has offers you can't believe with zero cash down. Wells Fargo wants to extend you a line of credit with low APR. Dean rolls off the bed and goes into the bathroom and closes the door, quiet, and Sam looks at the cheap maple veneer and then goes back to the obituary.

Marshall Hall, 1979–2006. Beloved son, believer in justice and truth. Pursuing a JD; active in his community. No mention of a wife, or kids, or siblings. A 'celebration of life' to be held on the following Saturday. In lieu of flowers, his mother requests that donations be sent to the legal aid organization where Marshall volunteered his time. That's all that's fit to print, about Marshall Hall.

Sam's been to more funerals than most. He can imagine Marshall Hall's. Shocked relatives, gathering around the gray-faced mother. More-shocked friends and colleagues around his own age, most of them faced probably for the first time with that appalling and unavoidable truth—that it could come at any time. That any of them could be standing in their kitchens or riding their bike in the sun or just at work, doing their job, and death when it came was unspectacular and uncompromising and then—that was it. There had been a Marshall Hall and now there wasn't, and the people milling through whatever empty quiet house would be murmuring how it just seemed impossible, and how they'd just talked to him last week, and how could it be true? But it was, and it was impossible to go back to the world last week, when he'd been loud and bright and fierce and there, and each of them would have to face that in their own time, and worse, would have to look at the people standing in front of them and think—what if—?

When Dean comes out of the bathroom Sam's abandoned the laptop. "Thought you were going to fuse with that thing," Dean says.

"There'll be jobs to look for tomorrow," Sam says, and holds out a can of beer.

Dean squints at him. Comes over slow, and sits on the other bed, and when he takes the can he doesn't open it but just holds it between his two hands, looking at the top. White light on the side of his face pooling strange across his skin, his other eye so dark that it looks hollow, and Sam reaches for the remote and snaps the TV off so it's just—his brother, sitting there, in inadequate lamplight but at least not being dragged off to nightmares Sam can't currently stand.

"I was watching that," Dean says, and Sam says, "No, you weren't," and Dean looks up at him and opens his mouth and then closes it, and sighs.

"Dean," Sam says, and then hangs there, not sure how to say it—true. "I wish—man, I don't know. I wish it'd been different."

Dean's thumb runs around the aluminum rim of the can. When he looks up he looks into Sam's eyes, and then at his mouth, and then he sits back and his shoulders are a low curve and he shakes his head, eyes cutting off to some misery. Whether it's Layla or Marshall or Roy or some combination of all three—or something worse—Sam doesn't know, and the not-knowing's got this pit growing in his stomach. He puts his own beer down on the nightstand and reaches out and gets his hand on Dean's skin—grips the inside of his wrist, his thumb on the knob of bone. If he pressed hard enough he could feel Dean's heart beating but the warmth of skin is enough, for now.

"Hey," Sam says, raw.

Dean huffs. "Hey yourself," he says, and Sam doesn't know if it's wanted but he leans across the space between the beds and kisses Dean anyway—close-lipped, firm, his other hand under Dean's jaw so he can't duck away. Dean lets him. Return pressure, after a second, so Sam doesn't feel like he's kissing a lifeless thing. Sam breaks away with relief dumping down his spine and presses his temple to Dean's temple, and Dean turns in so his nose brushes Sam's cheek and lets him breathe the same air and then pushes him away, gentle. He meets Sam's eye and it's okay—well, it's not okay, but they are at least—and then he opens his beer, and heels back to sit up against the headboard of his own bed, and that's going to be it, probably, about this day, and this week, and Sam'll have to be content with that, or risk the terror of asking.

He sits back on his own bed and turns the TV back on. A cop show. It'll pass the time until they sleep. He wishes it had been different. Given how it was, he wouldn't have made a different choice. He opens his own beer, and sits in quiet with his brother.

[iamthatonefangirl]

miss possessive - congressman bucky barnes

okay not my best work, i swear i have like nine drafts i've come up with in a week, none of them good enough to post.

this is inspired by miss possessive by tate mcrae even though i completely lost sight of the song really quickly

part 2

part 3

~~~

you really had no right to be so jealous.

you watched him from across the floor, sipping on your flute of champagne. you'd grabbed it off of one of those waiters' trays as they were walking about the room.

it tasted like shit. you didn't like the taste of wine, and it wasn't even enough to get you drunk.

you knew this kind of event was difficult for him to sit through, but hey, he made his choice going into politics.

you watched as he made his rounds, speaking to various donors and attempting to charm them. you watched as all their wives fawned over your-

no.

you watched as all their wives fawned over him, bringing him in for a hug instead of a handshake. of course they were interested; he was the best looking man here. yes, he was the oldest man in the room, but appeared to be the youngest and was, regardless, easily the most attractive. and all the thirty-some wives of the cranky old rich white men wanted him.

it pissed you off. not that you had the right to be pissed, but. oh well. you're just a girl.

after two flutes of champagne, you watch as one of the donors receives a phone call, leaving his wife with Bucky. ever the gentleman, he would never leave a woman all by herself in a room full of sharks who might try to snatch her up. 

Bucky was very much a different man than he was in the forties, of course. doesn't mean he lost the ability to attract every woman in the room.

you can't stand idly by as she puts his hands all over him, and he can't take his eyes off of her. no, of course he would never go for a married woman. what he did know, though, was that if he pissed her off, her husband wouldn't donate to his campaign.

you roll your eyes and decide it's time for some hard liquor.

you hide in the corner of the room, drinking your much stronger beverage as fast as possible. no, getting drunk at a professional event isn't the best idea, but what do you care. you're not the star of the show.

he is.

he's the brilliant ex-POW who's turned his entire life around in a whole new century. he's the gorgeous soldier who not only survived, but is also electing to do something meaningful with his life. 

he's the star tonight.

he's the star of every thought you have of your future, but that can't possibly come to surface now. it's not the time or place. 

watching him entertain this woman truly boils your blood, but at least you have some actual alcohol in your system now. you no longer feel the need to justify why her hands on his pristine suit makes you want to grab her by the diamonds around her neck and yank her off of him. you can justify your desire to grab him by the tie to pull him away from her and yell at him for not focusing on what's important. 

you bite your tongue. you knew it was all a ploy.

doesn't mean you had to like it. 

~~~

while you stand at the bar waiting for your second beverage of the evening, a man comes up next to you, and the bartender takes his drink order. 

you give him a small, awkward smile as you briefly make eye contact. you're kind of shocked: he's definitely the only man in this room who appears to be younger than 60, Bucky excluded.

you almost startle when he speaks up, introducing himself. Michael, he says his name is.

you turn to actually face him this time. roughly 40, plenty taller than you, and brown hair sprinkled with some greys in there. your perfect type. you quietly tell yourself you're done drinking–no way you're gonna fuck this up. if you weren't so mad about Bucky's new admirer, you might be a tad less inclined to speak to him, but… 

you step closer as you give him a real smile and introduce yourself.

"so, correct me if I'm wrong, but something tells me you're here alone tonight," he begins, indicating to your left hand. no ring. 

you laugh a little. 

"you would be correct," you tell him. "I could say the same about you."

he smiles back at you. it's so beautiful you forget all about your boss and the woman he's now got on his arm as he continues to walk around–

well. you almost forget. good enough.

"you would also be correct."

you explain why you're here, you work for one of the candidates. although, you don't tell him who, exactly. he explains why he's here, one of the patrons. you have to pry the information out of him, but you appreciate it: he's trying to talk to you without flashing his money in your face. it's noble, you think.

you eventually learn he's interested in actually getting to know the candidates' campaigns, not just what they think they can offer him in return for his money.

"you know, I would be happy to learn more about your boss' campaign. from one of the people who probably understands it best," he tells you. you're slightly taken aback for a moment, not aware this was a business interaction. you never even told him who your boss was, so it was confusing, to say the least.

you felt stupid for thinking he was actually interested, for thinking that he was flirting with you.

"oh, of course-" you begin to tell him, but he interjects, "after I take you out, perhaps?"

your smile perks back up subconsciously. so you didn't have it wrong.

"I would love that," you tell him, carefully taking the lapels of his jacket into your hands. you feel his hands come to your waist, and it's like a jolt of energy runs up your spine.

you look closer and almost flip your shit as you see his eyes up close. they're Bucky's eyes. he's not Bucky, sadly, but. 

you're fucked.

"maybe dinner can happen... another time?" you offer, hoping he gets the hint. you realize you probably look like a whore throwing yourself at him like this.

he chuckles. "I've got a room upstairs, if you'd like to come have drinks instead of dinner."

hell yes. you're gonna score tonight, even if it's not with the man you dream about with your hands between your legs every night-

"I would," you say, and bite your tongue. "I just... have to stick around until this thing is over. yeah?"

he nods and steps back. "I suppose I should also do what I came here for," he chuckles. "I'll come find you later?"

you smile and you feel your face go pink. "sounds good."

you can't help the fact that your gaze reverts immediately back to your boss the second the man walks off. Bucky hasn't spared you a single glance all evening, but the second you look back at him this time, you're suddenly staring into his beautiful eyes. 

he holds eye contact with you for what feels like an eternity. his expression is muted, no real emotion showing. maybe... curiosity?

of course he's not going to look mad, or upset, or jealous. you have to stop thinking he'd ever look at you with anything other than pure professionalism.

because he's everything. and you're just a kid, lost in the world, desperately in love with your boss, and everything is fucking falling apart around you.

at least you've got a rich, hot, older man ready to fuck you tonight.

~~~

you kept to your word to yourself and didn't drink for the rest of the night, although you continued hovering at the bar for the semblance of safety it provided.

you continued staring at Bucky for the next two hours. the clingy woman's husband had, in fact, returned and took her away from Bucky. clearly, she was pissed, but tried to hide it. you had to bite back a smirk.

he didn't look back at you once for the rest of the evening.

eventually, the crowd dies down. you realize that now, you have to explain to your boss that you won't be riding back to the office with him, effectively telling him your exact plans for the rest of the night. embarrassing!

you're almost ready to bite the bullet and bid Bucky a good night, scanning the room for him, when you hear a voice from behind you. 

"we still on for drinks?"

you plaster a smile on your face as you turn around to the man standing behind you.

"absolutely," you say, taking his hands. "lead the way."

you begin to follow the man, telling yourself to try and remember to shoot your boss a text to 'not worry about you' before getting your clothes torn off by this man who's currently whisking you away.

you get into the elevator with him, what's his name, you think? oh, Michael, and yank him in hard, crashing your mouths together, putting all of your energy into how badly you need this.

you're startled by the sound of a clanging of metal, ripping your mouth away from the man's and turning to face the noise.

well, apparently, you were too eager and stupid enough to not wait for the elevator doors to entirely shut, because you see now that the noise was a result of Bucky's vibranium arm grabbing the elevator door. he pushes it open and steps inside, eyes piercing daggers through you the whole time.

you stand there, appalled. the man gently pulls away from you, reaching out a hand to attempt to shake Bucky's hand.

"Mr. Barnes, it's a pleasure," he begins. "my apologies for this... less than ideal meeting."

Bucky doesn't even look at the man, eyeing you up and down, taking in your smudged lipstick and the way your dress is slightly out of place.

the man attempts once more to interject. "Mr. Barnes, please, don't worry about her. why don't us men go back downstairs and have a real discussion? I'd love to hear more about your campaign."

wait. why do his words sound like they're throwing you under the bus, almost?

Bucky notices it, too, you realize. he tilts his head in the man's direction before actually averting his gaze to look at him.

"and leave the lady all by herself?" he asks.

"don't worry about that. she's... inconsequential. if you and I can just go back downstairs and–"

"what did you just say?" Bucky asks. you swear he doesn't look like your boss anymore, but someone... else.

the man is taken aback by Bucky's demeanor. his mouth gapes like an idiot.

"you do know this is my assistant, right?" Bucky asks him. the man's face goes pale as the pieces slot together in his head.

"Mr. Barnes, my apologies, truly," he says.

you just stand there feeling more stupid than ever. inconsequential? wow, okay. you almost don't even care that he's dismissing your entire existence, but you can't stand the fact that he's doing it in front of Bucky. you care more about what Bucky thinks of you than literally anyone else, and now? now he's going to see you as a fucking slut who isn't even good enough for a man to commit to for one night.

god, you're pathetic.

"shouldn't you be apologizing to her?" Bucky grits.

the elevator doors open to the man's floor, and he mumbles a sorry under his breath as he runs out.

great. not only do you look pathetic in front of your boss, but you're not getting fucked tonight, either. just great.

the doors shut behind Bucky, who has now returned his gaze to you. you wonder if he's going to press the button to go back to the lobby.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Mr. Barnes," you say, swallowing your embarrassment as you stand up straight and adjust your dress.

he just stares at you.

"what?" you ask.

"are you okay?" he asks, and he looks genuinely concerned.

you know he cares about you, you're his assistant, after all. but that's it.

"fine," you assure him, and begin to reach behind him to press the button to take you back down to the lobby.

he gently grabs your wrist before you can.

you look at him, confused. you know your face says it all.

"Mr.–" you begin.

"Bucky," he corrects.

"can I press the button, Mr. Barnes?"

he still hasn't let go of your wrist. you feel stupid for enjoying the feel of his metal hand against your skin, for getting to feel a part of him that's real.

"you know, you clearly picked out the worst of the men here tonight," he observes.

you roll your eyes and pull your wrist away from him before you do something stupid.

"are you kidding? this place was riddled with capitalist billionaires and politicians. like you," you say, smirking.

he chuckles a little.

you can't help yourself, though. can't let it go unsaid.

"clearly you had some interested parties of your own tonight."

he rolls his eyes and finally turns away from you, pressing the button for the lobby. you let out a quiet sigh of relief. being in this elevator any longer, with him? that would just about kill you.

"you noticed that, huh?" he asks.

"who didn't?" you mumble. but of course, he's not just a politician, he's an enhanced, so he hears it.

"look, I knew she was married, I was never going to-" he begins to explain, but you cut him off.

"oh, I don't care what she does in her own fucked-up marriage."

oh my god. what did you just say? did you just admit to the fact that the only reason you did care was because she was fawning over Bucky?

fuck.

the elevator doors open, and you rush out.

you can hear the smirk on his face as he trails after you.

"so, you were really going to sleep with that guy, huh?" he teases.

you stop in your tracks. most everyone has left by now, leaving only you and Bucky in the room aside from the clean-up crew. you turn back to face him.

"can we just go?"

he nods and calls for the car to come around.

~~~

twenty minutes, you remind yourself.

in twenty minutes, you'll have made it back to the office, and you can go get in your own car and take yourself back to your own place and you won't have to be sitting thigh to thigh with your boss in the back of a limo that would totally be hot to fuck in-

he clears his throat, and you turn your head to face him.

"what that guy said..." he begins. you roll your eyes in anger at the reminder. you didn't even care he said it, you just wish he hadn't said it in front of Bucky.

you wave your hand as though waving off the thought, and waving off Bucky's concern. but it doesn't quite work like that.

"you're not inconsequential."

he says it with such a conviction you feel it deep in your bones, in the very core of your being. he sounds so authentic that it almost hurts.

a million thoughts swirl in your head. you could say i know, you could get defensive, you could say thanks, Bucky...

a better one pops in your head.

"how did you know where I was? you didn't see me all evening."

the limo stops moving. the driver rolls down the divider to grumble something about traffic at this hour? before rolling it back up again.

great. now it's going to take even longer to get home to your vibrator.

Bucky sees the interruption as a way to drop the matter. you press it.

"Mr. Barnes?"

"god, would you stop calling me that?"

you see him turn away from you to look out the window, biting his lip and rubbing his forehead. you've now frustrated him, and he's mad at you. this is good. it's easier for you to deal with him being angry at you than him being nice to you.

you know he just wants you to call him Bucky, but you're a smartass.

"yeah, okay, sorry. Sergeant Barnes," you mumble, smirking to yourself.

he about flips his shit. why is he getting so worked up?

"seriously?" he asks, turning back to you. his eyes are blown back, in anger, probably. not lust, like you wish they were. because you're just a stupid kid, and he's just your boss with a lifetime of trauma. you could never understand him the way you wanted to.

"what?" you say, biting your lip as you smile, continuing to tease him.

you swear that for a second, he glances down to your lips.

SHIT!

in that embarrassing moment, you realize your lipstick is still smudged across your face from the moment in the elevator. your heart rate shoots up as you bury your head in your chest, bringing your hand to wipe away the mess of your face, before turning to face the opposite way from him.

you are, well and truly, stuck in traffic. some concert, or sports game, or whatever...

which means you're stuck, pressed up against your boss, in the back of this tiny limo right now, for only god knows how much longer.

you're pulling your phone out of your clutch when he says your name.

you want to lean into the feeling, how smooth it is. how crisp his voice is, how pretty it sounds saying your name, as though he's genuinely paying you any attention whatsoever.

"you're not inconsequential."

it flares your anger, all of it coming up from your gut and into your throat, as you respond.

"god, would you forget it already?" you snap.

shit, shit, shit. you fucked up. you just snapped at your boss, of all people. you try to backtrack, throw out a million comments of "sorry," but that's it, you're getting fired.

you finally look back at him, and he's actually looking at you. like, it feels like he's staring into your soul, seeing all the pieces of you that you're trying to keep hidden from him.

the car begins moving again.

~~~

he watches you, trying to figure you out, as always.

he can't think of a better word for it than the fact that you genuinely amuse him.

he sees the look in your eyes, the way you're desperately trying to cover up the shame you feel over what happened in the elevator. he's trying to be gentle about it, trying to assure you that what the man said was utter bullshit, but you keep shutting him down.

god, and you look so...

no. you're, like, 80-plus years younger than him (he rubs his temples every time he remembers his age) and employed by him. any interest on his part would be purely inappropriate, a gross misuse of his position of power.

and god, his fucking age, man. he shouldn't even be around anymore-

anyways.

you look at him with those fucking doe eyes, going back and forth between anger, and shame, and something else he can't quite pinpoint.

this is probably the worst part of what happened. you're always so unapologetically yourself, but he can tell this man has gotten under your skin.

even if it's not his job to comfort you, he doesn't want you to feel like that. because who you are is perfect. 

~~~

one minute, you're staring into his eyes, trying to read the look on his face. 

the next, you're bracing yourself as the car spins out of control, feeling hit after hit of various cars all crashing into you sequentially.

you don't register it until after it's all over. the way he's wrapped himself around you as though to protect you. his flesh arm cradles your head to his chest and his vibranium hand wraps itself around the back of your neck.

you take a few deep breaths and begin to pull away from him, looking up to his face as you do. his eyes widen in shock as he looks at you. what? what is it?

"fuck, we gotta get you to a hospital." 

~~~

part 2

part 3

masterlist

tag list

tagged: @clavedelune

[mymoshangthoughts]

okay, okay, okay, bear with me

mobei jun already knows about shang qinghua as airplane

oki ive decided to take advantage of the fact that WE NEVER GET A MOBEI JUN POV AND I'LL BE FORVER SALTY ABOUT THAT SHIT

but like, shen yuan figured airplane out REAL fast, right? they barely spent time together before the immortal alliance and then it takes one surprise before airplane is saying stupid shit, right?

and i cant help but think, mobei jun aint dumb and he's been spending How Many Years crashing at shang qinghua's leisure house whenever the fuck he feels like it?

he also finds shang qinghua to be Hella Sus because come on, ofc he does. a human just declares their undying loyalty to you after one fucking meeting??? even if he believes shang qinghua is being sincere in the moment, the fact that he was so quick to betray his sect doesnt speak of a loyal servant

so why wouldnt he snoop? why wouldnt he pay extra close attention when shang qinghua says shit that doesnt make sense? why wouldnt he notice when shang qinghua speaks or writes in a language that he doesnt recognize? airplane canonically isnt fluent in english so if he used a bit of it, especially chinglish, wouldnt mobei jun be able to learn some of the meanings of the words just by context clues? especially when he has YEARS to decode it? like if airplane was fluent, maybe he could hide the meaning, but a limited vocabulary adapted to another language isnt actually super hard to decode. it's the same reason that you can generally understand what slang means before you look up the definition. you might not know what 'rizz' means, but you can pick up the meaning from context clues.

anyway im over explaining the linguistic aspects ALL IM SAYING IS what if airplane kinda depends heavily on chinglish to be his Secret Language that Theres No Way That Anyone Here Can Get. and sure, for most people, it does seem like gibberish. but again, mobei jun has YEARS at his side and reasons to nitpick at it and decode it.

like what if airplane had a habit of writing out pidw plot points in chinglish bc look he is Going to forget shit no matter what, he wrote that novel a lifetime ago, but theres some info thats pretty important for him to Not Forget. so mobei jun is just left with a huge stash of Impossible Information that shang qinghua writes about

everything ranging from future events to obscure demon world facts that theres just no justifiable reason for shang qinghua to know about and just everything in between.

but also what if shang qinghua wrote his feelings? his thoughts? his issues? like cmon, he literally has NO ONE to consult with about the insanity of his life before cucumber-bro, and his life is really crazy, and he used to be the person who wrote out his feelings via novel but look dude he's not about to tempt fate by writing out another novel rn so a diary makes sense. or at least like, random venting

and again, this isnt even mentioning airplane having some potential verbal fuckups that mobei jun can add to his ever growing file of "shang qinghua has something fucking going on"

and like, maybe mobei jun hasnt actually figured out the exact truth but he has some eerily close guesses. or maybe airplane wrote a lengthy journal explaining literally his entire fucked up life and mobei jun knows Everything.

look im just a little bit obsessed with mobei jun casually being aware for YEARS that shang qinghua is from another world and might have once had god-like powers over this world. i think this is very funny and i think it could work in a canon compliant way. cuz i also like to think that some of mobei jun's aggro at shang qinghua was a mixture of

you literally wont tell me who you really are. you claim to be my loyal subject but you wont even tell me your real name and Yes I'm Upset About That

you fucking fucker, you literally PLANNED that horrible event to happen???? you suck so bad omfg. THAT WAS TRAUMATIZING FOR ME YOU JERK NO I DONT CARE IF YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT NOW

your handwriting sucks and im mad that i didnt just have to decode your weird other language, i also had to decode your fucking horrendous handwriting and i dont know if i can ever forgive you for that

you barely ever show your real personality in front of me and i have to learn how you really feel by reading this fucking notes and YES IM UPSET ABOUT THAT

i also just love the idea of Something Happening to do with the multiverse and basically mobei jun is the only one who isnt remotely surprised lmfao. binghe is in crisis mode, cucumber thinks he's gonna die, airplane is freaked out, and mobei jun is just like "yeah, figured some dumb shit like this might happen. you didnt know binghe? dont you pay any attention to your husband :/ dude, they're not even good at hiding it, i thought you were supposed to be smart"

also the simultaneous heartattacks that cucumber and airplane would have that mobei jun just KNOWS like thats hilarious. imagine they need to talk about something secretly in public and its super urgent and mobei jun just starts using chinglish or webspeak or something perfectly and cumplane are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

mobei jun: that mofo is hella sus, but keep it on the dl. ttyl i need to do a vibe check

cumplane: ?!?!?!?!?!?

[astonmartinii]

i don't wanna be funny anymore | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem podcaster!reader

i don't wanna be funny anymore, i got a too short skirt, maybe i can be the cute one. is there room in the band? i don't need to be the front man, if not then i'll be the biggest fan

based on i don't wanna be funny anymore by lucy dacus (this song speaks to me, i love lucy (she's also AMAZING live))

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 341,203 others

yourusername: hey girl hey, new ep coming at you fast this friday all about rotting. as the twilight weather rolls in and it becomes the season of all too well, we'll talk about rotting, how we can do it right and how not to lose your mind this october (a cautionary tale, i've already lost mine)

view all comments

user1: my queen hands down five stars already

user2: the bag is so real and the way i know it's a tote that does NOT stay on your shoulder

yourusername: it's the enchante tote, shameless plug for my man

danielricciardo: you singlehandedly sell out my totes every time baby

user3: not this actual fan erasure 🤨

user4: babe be real, she has a massive platform and there was a direct correlation between the first time she plugged a tote and the fact that they sold out that day you guys just love being mean

user5: i'm mean cause i don't want some leech taking credit for dan's hardwork and his fans?

user6: he fucking said it? you guys grasp at straws every time so try and justify your agenda against her

maxverstappen1: idk what rotting is but i'll still listen to every second

yourusername: thanks maxy, though i'd say going on the sim for up to 14 hours of the day is bordering on rotting

maxverstappen1: productive rotting !

yourusername: yes, i guess your sweet little treats are trophies?

maxverstappen1: that would make sense (don't tell my trainer but i do enjoy the little fruity drinks from starbucks)

user7: yall wanna say we're mean but she's literally invalidating max, saying he's rotting on the sim is so invalidating to everything he went through when he was younger

user8: how did we get there? this grasp on straws has to be studied... from a joke about the sim to invalidating abuse?

user9: i honestly thank the lord for dan and max because they're so supportive no matter the shitstorm that yall throw at y/n everyday

user10: literally max is even listening to podcasts... real friends, i hope one day she feels confident enough to come to races

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen, georgerussell63 and 1,034,239 others

tagged: yourusername, enchante

danielricciardo: buckle up, enchante is going to the rodeo 🐎

view all comments

user13: i shall be breaking the bank

user14: dan so smart, he looks like a good boyf for including y/n but didn't include her face

user15: yall ever listen to yourself talk, you need to be put in time out for real

yourusername: we all know the phrase, save a horse, ride a...

danielricciardo: daniel?

yourusername: YUP

user16: ugh there are children who are fans of daniel, she's so gross

user17: do you ever get tired of doing all of that mental gymnastics?

yourusername: can't wait for the tote drop for this collection, yall WON'T be disappointed

user18: yes, i will always trust mother's tote recommendations

user19: anyone who carries that much shit knows what makes a good tote

yourusername: this one has survived two dostoevsky book, an unreasonably large water bottle, a laptop and microphone

user19: thank you ma'am

maxverstappen1: real love is dressing as a cowgirl for your needy boyfriend

yourusername: the things we do for love (i actually had so much fun)

user20: here y/n goes doing all the publicity, but never going to races, clearest gold digger attention whore wag of all time

user21: surely a real attention whore would go to every race to get the screen time and papped and all that jazz?

excerpt of y/n y/ln's podcast where she addresses her absences in the paddock.

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 412,349 others

yourusername: life recently lol, the enchante tote is taking a beating

view all comments

user24: she's such a crybaby making dan use up an entire portion of his interview to coddle her

user25: she doesn't come to races cause of people like you invading her privacy and being rude and here you are ... proving her point

danielricciardo: pretty lady i can't wait to be back in your arms

yourusername: waiting outside the airport now

danielricciardo: we haven't even taken off yet babe

yourusername: i know i just miss you and can't wait to see your handsome face

user26: dan must be saying this shit at gun point cause there's no way he actually thinks she's pretty

user27: are you clinically blind? cause we must not be seeing the same girl

maxverstappen1: the aperol rawdogging the bag, you are SO brave

yourusername: living life on the edge, is this that thrill all you drivers talk about?

maxverstappen1: i may drive at over 200 kmh but i'd never risk my tote like that

yourusername: is it worse that i have a jar of olives in there as well, one drop and it's so over for me

maxverstappen1: OLIVES? remind me NOT to hug you when you pick us up

danielricciardo: if you want that hug you gonna have to get in line boy

user28: she picks them up from the airport? that's so cute

user29: someone tell her the gross girl aesthetic isn't cute

user30: babe don't worry no matter the aesthetic you have daniel will never want you x

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, christianhorner and 982,344 others

tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo

maxverstappen1: finally went on my bff's (no 1 in the world) podcast after i finally convinced her yall ain't shit - oh and dan was there for emotional support x

view all comments

user31: SO ICONIC

user32: ep on repeat forever, they're so funny

yourusername: for a man who hates podcasts, you were a star i think the memes hit you hard

maxverstappen1: i enjoy the PROFESSIONALS could you imagine doing a podcast with lando

landonorris: why am i catching strays

danielricciardo: i wouldn't say that too loud, i got about 20 texts as soon as you posted this demanding i ask y/n to be on the show

yourusername: oooooooooo the girls are fighting

landonorris: so can i come on?

yourusername: i'm sure we can schedule something

maxverstappen1: don't say i didn't warn you y/n

user33: ugh now she's going to whore around the rest of the grid

user34: for real wasn't dan enough? she's not even pretty enough to whore herself out

user35: you people have no reading comprehension cause you see how dan says yall are insane and yall keep proving him right

danielricciardo: i'm so proud of you pretty girl

yourusername: i love you cowboy

danielricciardo: forever obsessed with you

user36: i'm living for y/n basically telling all these insecure weirdos to fuck off

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 603,451 others

tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: who was gonna tell me these cars are loud as shit irl

view all comments

user39: someone tell sky to stop zooming in on her i don't pay to her her ugly ass

user40: cry your heart out bro everyone else is happy

danielricciardo: oops i think you're my lucky charm you now have to come to every race ever sorry not sorry

yourusername: gosh i think that might be true - i'll be there! (but for real you are so so talented and don't need a lucky charm)

danielricciardo: i'm just so happy to share this with you, i love you so much, i'm sorry people have been so cruel

yourusername: people are passionate about you and rightly so, but i appreciate you protecting me baby

user41: imagine being this irrelevant and demanding protection in the paddock ... the audacity

user42: you finally came to the paddock and this is what you wore?

user43: she's wearing danny merch? if she didn't yall would have a problem with that as well so please just be quiet

maxverstappen1: i need you to come every weekend cause you're the only one drunk danny will listen to

yourusername: we had practice with all the wine tasting we did for his wine line

danielricciardo: i am NOT that bad

maxverstappen1: tbf it's usually him just crying about how much he loves you

yourusername: AWWWWWW (i also cry about how much i love you)

user44: gosh this is my favourite f1 couple

user45: hopefully now she has her dose of fame she'll fuck off

user46: HAVE A DAY OFF

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,451,677 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: as we're nearing our two year anniversary i wanted to say a couple things. one. i love you so much. when you came into my life i was in a bad place and you truly taught me to love myself again and how to love my sport again. you're the most amazing woman ever, the kindest soul and the most beautiful girl ever. two. i am so thankful for the support i have, i do not allow the disrespect some have given y/n. you guys have no real perception of relationships between athletes and fans. you do not have the right to comment on y/n in the way you are. you take extremely low blow and have the gall to confront her in public as well. do not call yourself a fan of mine when you treat the people i love like this. my team will now begin to monitor comment sections and will seek to block and report accounts doing this. thank you and i love you y/n.

comments on this post are turned off.

note: hope yall enjoyed!! i love danny and i saw the danny ric honky tonk this morning and had to write about him. i'd also had this idea for a while but didn't know who to write for lol. please listen to the song i love lucy so much and the song is so relatable xx

also anyone who has requested - i am working on them (but as per some questions in my asks, as for right now i do not write for footballers, if i become less disillusioned with the sport (thanks chelsea) this may change)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pursuing a guy my friend is into?

I (31M) am in a band with M (23ftm) and a few other people who aren't relevant here. I play the keys, he's the vocalist. I love M, he's a real good friend and I enjoy what we do. For context, I'm gay and he's bisexual.

There's another guy involved, J (25M). He's M's best friend. It's no secret to anyone but J that M is completely in love with him. J is gay (all of our friends are queer in some way, honestly) so there's no conflict of sexuality.

Unfortunately, I'm also really into J. He's really pretty, and he's always so nice to me. M's definitely closer to him though. They're always hanging out together. M's known him longer and loved him longer overall. M knows I like him, too, and it has been a point of minor contention in the past.

Recently, I thought that if I was gonna shoot my shot, it had to be sooner rather than later. I pulled him aside and asked him the other day at practice (he isn't in the band but shows up to hang out) if he'd be interested in going out on a date sometime. He looked pretty uncomfortable and told me he wasn't interested, which was pretty fucking upsetting. I asked if it was anything I'd done. He said no, he just didn't want to date anyone right now. I understood. He then said his goodbyes and left kinda awkwardly.

Later I got a very angry text from M. He was really upset with me for asking J out. Apparently, they'd been dating for almost 2 months and had told everyone but me because they were worried about what I'd say. And, I think justifiably, I'm a little pissed off. Mostly because J told me he wasn't looking into dating right now instead of just fucking telling me he was seeing someone. I called them both jerks and haven't heard from them since. I wouldn't have asked J out if I'd known they had already gotten together, even if I think M would be terrible for him. They're gonna crash and burn so goddamn fast, they don't mesh well at all.

TLDR I asked a friend out and his boyfriend got mad at me when I didn't even know they were together. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x02, "autopsy"

what's worse: the kiss or house calling child cancer patients "small, bald circus freaks"?

coming back to the top of this post after i've finished writing it to apologize for the length. oh my fucking god lol.

as soon as i saw andie i was like "no shot does chase kiss the cancer patient ALREADY" but, alas, i had to endure that all over again. but the way house talks about cancer patients had me gagged even more! holy moly!

is the ordeal worth psychoanalyzing? i'm not really sure. i have some bullet points in my notes about chase having a lacking childhood, growing up too fast on account of his mother's alcoholism, etc., but, in essence, i think chase kissing andie is just...Awkward. a good, On Purpose awkward, though. it shows the extent of patient vulnerability, especially someone as young as andie, whose conceptions of growing up/adulthood exist almost entirely within hospitals. and house's retort when he forces it out of chase is so fucking funny: "this is exactly why you can't to touch my markers."

for clarity's sake, i'd say the defining theme of this episode is bravery. i like 2x02 more than 2x01 on account of its thematic clarity, and i'm mentioning this at the top because bravery informs a lot of my points going forwrad. additionally, i think i've found a sincerely wilson-forward episode, so i don't have to justify hijacking a recap with any undue wilson-posting. he's here! loud and full of oncology guilt that make his soft brown eyes even softer!

and even better - THEIR CONJOINED OFFICES HAVE ARRIVED. THE NEEDLESSLY CONJOINED OFFICES HAVE HIT PPTH. they even emphasize this new architectural development, so i wonder if we're meant to believe that this happened during the indeterminate amount of time between seasons? and for what reason? enter fan theories and headcanons, please.

sorry (not really) but i have to talk a little too much about this scene, leading first with the fact that it seems like house accumulated pebbles on their balcony to throw at wilson's window. when he reaches for them, out of our frame of view, it sounds like there's a pre-made pile there:

house really just wants an informal consult about andie, since wilson was the one to give him the case, but it devolves into something that house really only shares with wilson: domesticity.

house is bitching and moaning all episode about being sick and miserable when it's very clearly just allergies and/or a cold. he's fiddling with some vick's vapor-rub-equivalent while talking to wilson, but he can't quite get the cap off while holding his cane at the same time. because the struggle is annoying, wilson grabs the container, opens it, and hands it back.

yeah, i'm hilson-posting a bit here, but i just love the way this conversation fleshes out without missing a beat. this season does a lot of work for these 2, long before wilson moves in, and the classic house and wilson domesticity we all love so much originates in their physical proximity in their work environment. there's quite literally no reason for their offices to be next to each other.

okay anyways. the concept of andie's bravery is a point of contention between wilson and house throughout; house thinks the bravery is a farce, even a symptom, while wilson finds it noble and admirable and real. 2x02 by itself is only introducing their longstanding dialectic between faith (wilson) and nonbelief (house), a dynamic that will only grow as house becomes more and more like a god to wilson and cuddy as the show goes on.

i think wilson's insistence that andie is brave stems from his constant need for neediness (to use house's 5x04 lingo). bravery in cancer patients, especially those as young as andie, imply a constant need, as well as a model that wilson can admire - true goodness. wilson lacks for moral decency, so by devoting himself to patients who are chock full of the stuff, maybe he can do a little penance? who knew house md could be so catholic.

house's refutation of andie's bravery also speaks to a long pathology of his - refusal of failure, rejection of impossible circumstances. house can't understand why andie would even want to be brave when she knows she's going to die. again, he thinks that it's a medical issue. wilson is so offended by how house mocks andie and other child cancer patients that he tells him to "go to hell," a massively ineffective insult that i don't think future wilson would use.

looking a little deeper, though, i think house is perplexed about how someone can endure constant pain without complaint. his constant grief over his cold sparks this joke early on, but of course it's really about his leg pain. for all intents and purposes, his coping mechanism, vicodin, isn't brave, nor how he treats those around him. this is why it's so profound when he insists to andie that she doesn't have to keep fighting:

"i can't just leave her [andie's mom] behind because i'm tired."

"but you can't stay for her, either."

andie contemplates this. house isn't asking her to be selfish here - he's actually advocating for more recent oncology practices, which prioritize palliative care in terminal patients. house's difficulty in understanding andie's eventual decision to go through a highly dangerous procedure reminds us of the tragedy of his infarction; in 1x21, we saw him confirm to stacy that he would give up his leg to save her, but now he can barely understand why andie would do something similar for her mother in the face of certain death.

house has confirmedly lost that connection to unconditional love, at least for the most part (more on this in the sequestered spoiler section at the bottom of this post).

andie's departure from the hospital is one of the most emotional moments for me in the show, and wilson is right to be angry with house when he (at first) refuses to say goodbye. wilson highlights the contrast between how house lives his life (literally cutting up an antihistamine and [probably] vicodin before his eyes) and how andie lives her: "she could outlive you."

house doesn't feel like he has anyone to live for at this point, and i think that this revelation is what motivates him in the end to say goodbye to andie. she challenges him by telling him to go for a walk, "it's nice outside," and house's response introduces yet another fav motif of mine in the show. HOUSE'S MOTORCYCLE!

house values independence in life, as well as isolation, so he takes andie's challenge and warps it by test-driving (for now) a motorcycle. i like how the test-drive implies impermanence and a fear of commitment, and i also like how motorcycles become an embodiment of agency for house (more on this in the bottom portion of this post, too, actually).

returning to andie's dangerous procedure, one of the episode's strongest moments, fleeting as it is, is how house shows absolute trust in foreman at the pivotal procedure moment. they have only seconds to confirm whether there's a tumor in andie's brain before she's lost to them, and something catches foreman's eye at the very last moment. while the other surgeons are hesitant, in the face of foreman's confidence and expertise, house says, "that's good enough for me."

THIS IS SO HUGE. this is the clearest moment of blanket-trust between house and the fellows that i can remember thus far. house is not only rewarding foreman for being certain, but also for standing up to so many other voices. and it's a success! i think this is especially powerful coming after their bout about the death row patient in the previous episode; despite wilson's claims that house admires nobody, clearly he has starry eyes for foreman here.

EXPLICIT SERIES FINALE SPOILERS BELOW:

-

-

-

in so many ways, this episode feels like pregaming 8x22, probably because house md's messaging about cancer stays alarmingly consistent across its run. maybe i should make a separate post about that. andie and house's conversation is reflected in the inverse in 8x21 when house cannot accept that wilson wants to die. he won't tell wilson that he loves him unless he "fights." he is frustrated that wilson isn't being brave, in his eyes. he's begging him to be an andie, when house claimed that that was unfair and unwise way back when in season 2.

it's the line "but i can change" that teaches him the real lesson - there is bravery in wilson taking agency, even if it's only over how he dies (a callback to 2x01!). and there is someone who house can live for, stepping into andie's shoes. the choice for them to both ride motorcycles, two confirmed symbols of freedom in house md, together, keeping pace, is just too coincidental not to point out. like house, i, too, hate coincidences.

[bigskydreaming]

DickKory celebrity AU playing up Kory's time as a model and Dick's socialite status as a "Prince of Gotham" so that they first meet in public and become a celebrity power couple BEFORE discovering they're also a superhero4superhero match. Although really, there's not much way to disguise Kory's nightlife so it'd be more like before Kory discovers what Dick moonlights as between social engagements, cuz let's be real, if Dick's not already an active part of the hero scene pissing people off with the typical Batfam adherence to I Could Tell You, But I'd Rather Risk Killing Our Friendship style secrecy, it just Makes Sense for him to do most of the "Hi Honey, I Can See Now How I Probably Should Have Mentioned Some Things Sooner" legwork. For The Tropes, y'see.

Now how would this even work? Idk I haven't thought this through yet, like literally at all, not even a little bit. BUT IF I HAD, just totally theoretical here, not something that's actually happened or happening or going to happen at all, HYPOTHETICALLY....idk idk. Maybe Dick never joined the Titans as a founder because Bruce was slightly more paranoid in this universe (how is that even possible, you may ask, I know, I'm agog at the unlikelihood as well, good thing this is all hypothetical haha, could you even imagine). But if you COULD even imagine, just perchance, purely for the shits and also the giggles, like....a universe where the timing is juuuuuuust tweaked enough so that the older generation of heroes were just STARTING to team up a little in public, do some networking, hemming and hawing noises were being made - vocal musings if you will - about maybe possibly forming some kind of club or "league" or what have you...

But then right before they actually followed through on that is when Bruce first met Dick and then ended up taking him in a month later (juvie origin, my always beloved, I accept no substitutions, as you all know I'm VERY open-minded except for when I'm not and will shoot an alternate interpretation on sight BUT I DIGRESS). So while the other heroes ended up forming the League, Bruce, who previously WAS amenable when it was just him pulled a 180 and shut down his participation in that FAST.

He's like I can risk this whole "believing that associating with other people can be Good For Me and Safe, actually" when its just MY identity at risk, but I am a Not!Father now! I have to be Responsible! I can no longer justify buying into Big Friendship's propaganda all willy-nilly, my DefinitelyNot!Son is depending on me to make good choices! You gotta THINK Bruce, what kind of example are you setting, swanning around town with your Emotional Needs hanging out all flagrantly on display in public? Flashing some recklessly indecent Desire To Be Known for anyone to see like you're some kind of companionship hussy?! It doesn't matter how tempting these Justice Jezebels are, you say NO, I have a DefinitelyNotMine!Child at home, keep your parlor of platonic comradery away from me! I said GOOD DAY, SUPERMAN! *slams the door of potential peerage shut a full ten seconds before Adopting Wayward Orphans becomes the hot new trend on Capetok and all the cool kids are doing it, oops*

So the Batfam still forms as it does in other canons, just even more secretive and socially isolated than elsewhere, they're setting Guinness Multiverse Records here, absolute icons, every last one of them. Because of course the altered history doesn't mean Bruce stops at Dick even if Dick never gets Led Astray Entranced Beguiled Wooed By His Not!Father's Competition, A Friend Group of Fellow Tweens Which Is Of Course A Totally Natural And Not At All Concerning Source of Competition For A Not!Father To Have here. Thus, ironically he evolves from Robin to a more adult hero persona (with a different name than Nightwing because he doesn't know Clark Like That Yet), in a manner more akin to Pre-Crisis not!drama than Post-Crisis draaaaaaaaama. And even despite Dick not being a founding Titans member, the Titans do still get founded because Dick does still become Robin and Sets A Bad Example for the Other Wayward Orphans adopted by the Justice League - which they of course hold against That Bat Bastard for purely rational reasons born wholly of Good Parenting with nary an ounce of resentment for the way he like totally rejected them omg in the mix.

And so a common refrain in the Halls of Justice is "its all that FUCKING Batman's fault" (so, y'know, actually not that different from canon when you think about it) every time one of the Titans Who Are Still Twee do something utterly devoid of applied brain cells and without a trace of self-preservation instincts to be seen while citing BATMAN LETS ROBIN DO IT. It definitely doesn't help endear their Not!ParentalRival to them, that all their powers of parental wisdom combined - "If Batman let Robin jump off a bridge would you jump off a bridge too" as uttered by five different superheroes in stereo - flies wildly over Twee Titan heads and careens off into the sunset as they whip out their phones and reveal bookmarked Gotham social media accounts capturing video after video of a young Robin in flight (usually off a bridge, for added SEE!!?!) while Batman somehow manages to pull off both Brooding and Beaming while looming in the background like the World's Proudest Gargoyle Dad.

The other founding members of the JLA PTA are simultaneously relieved Batman never accepted their Friend Request Justice League invitation thus keeping him, his cackling hyena devil child and their combined Bad Example far away from their own impressionable youths for all the good that actually did, while still deeply resentful he didn't want to sit with them at lunch. Its tricky work, but they pull it off. They're superheroes. They've got Skills.

And as alleged earlier, of course Bruce doesn't stop at just Not!Adopting Dick (lbr, having even less of a support network than in canon is not likely to lessen his Im Not Equipped To Actually Be Anyone's Daddy issues), like, no matter the universe, no matter the timeline, this man has an Actual Problem. He self-moderates so hard in literally every other aspect of his life that every time he sees a not-attended-by-an-adult Pokemon child in the wild, there's nothing left in the tank to stop him from shouting DIBS and calling his contractor to add another wing to Wayne Manor. The place is an Old-Testament style angelic host at this point, its got so many fucking wings. He's single-handedly stimulating the Gotham economy with all the jobs he's creating in the construction sector. That fucking legend. How does he do it. (Bruce: Well its actually really easy, see, you start by just never letting anyone tell you no ever and then you just never stop because nobody's ever told you no ever and - )

But the point is - inasmuch as I ever have one - in its own special way, this timeline spawns an ever-multiplying Batfam, just like in canon. Batman churns out one Robin after another like he's mass producing them on an assembly line, the Concerned Citizens of the JLA PTA insist, pointedly ignoring the side-eyed commentary of the peanut gallery that is their own children discussing amongst themselves that they sound so jealous its making them look goofy.

And so for years the Mystery of the Batfam delights, bewitches and enchants both the public and the cape community alike. They elude all interview attempts, return all invitations to JLA meetings and summits with unexpectedly British-sounding rejections on Batman stationary with formally inked calligraphy, and capture the imagination with each video-archived glimpse of the enigmatic, rude asshole Batman and his flock swinging whimsically across the Gotham skyline with much laughter and indulgent parental sighing, like the bizarrely accurate Peter Pan and the Lost Boys and Girls homage that they are.

Also ironically, despite being actually close to each other in this timeline, they're even worse at associating with others outside themselves than in any canon previously recorded, on account of The World's Most Helicoptering Helicopter Not!Dad's even more unchecked paranoia meaning none of them have ever had a real friend (ie one they don't lie to about literally everything, even up to and including their real names) outside the family since the day they each entered it and were initiated into its secrets in a weirdly wholesome Godfather-esque way. Don't think about that one too hard. People have died.

And then....

Enter Kory.

Kory, who in this universe - despite being a literal alien from outer space who did still navigate significant culture clash here with the aid of Donna, Lilith and other assorted Titans - is by the time of her and Dick's initial will-they-won't-they.....fully and happily ensconced within her own friend group and support network in the cape community. And though Dick Grayson, Prince of Gotham fakes it well, born entertainer and seasoned performer that he already was before he ever met Bruce....he - like all of his family - is not NEARLY as well socialized as she is.

Which Kory admittedly finds a bit odd, but still endearing, when she still only knows him in his public persona. He has noticeable quirks, but she chalks that up to Earth celebrities and socialite families being "....hmm." She's met the Kardashians.

But by the time she uncovers his secrets - or at least secret identity - in absurdly high camp Mr. and Mrs. Smith style fashion - she realizes, as she confides to Donna who is Most Eager to hear all the gossip that's fit to dish about that Most Elusive of Photography Subjects, the rare species of Robin native only to Gotham, the Cercotrichas nocturnalis, Dick and his siblings' secretiveness is extremely frustrating and even exasperating at times, but she legit doesn't think he knows how not to be that way. She's probably his first genuine non-Batfam-initiated friend. And his TotallyNotHisDadFather does not like her one bit.

Dick: He likes you! I promise!

Kory: Dick, look at him. He's trying to kill me with his eyes.

Dick: No, he just looks like that. Honest. You know how people are always like "if you keep your face like that too long it'll get stuck that way"? Yeah, he didn't listen. Its a problem.

Kory: That's not as reassuring as I feel you think it is.

Anyway. Her friends are like girl. Get out. Run. You have flight. Use it.

(Well, some of them are).

Donna: Oh, great Hera. Tell me you're not thinking "I can fix him." Not this one.

Lilith: Why not? Maybe she can. Have a little faith in her, Donna, JEEZ. What kind of BFF are you? Kory, if you're taking applications, lemme know. The stars are saying now is the time to upgrade.

Terra the Not-Evil On Account Of Judas Contract Happened Very Differently Without Slade's Weird Obsession With Robin To Fuel It and Also Because I Said So, Justice For Terra, and Also Because Without Dick As A Titan More Chaos Energy Was Needed For The Lulz I Mean The Plot: Don't listen to her, Kory. Its a trap.

Lilith: How is it a trap?

Terra: You just want to study this man in a lab and have some strange, unnecessarily convoluted plan to do it vicariously through Kory.

Lilith: ....you don't know me.

Donna: Ladies, please. Focus! We are trying to help Kory decide if she wants to keep dating him.

Lilith: No, you're trying to do that. I, witness to the future, already know that she's going to because they're going to end up getting married and have at least one daughter. Why do you hate your future god-daughter and not want her to be born, huh? Why Donna? Why?

Donna: Maybe because this sounds a lot like the time I almost married Terry because of your witnessing the future. But also lying about it.

Lilith: How many times do I have to apologize for that? I was TRYING to save Roy's LIFE!

Donna: Then why didn't you just say Donna don't marry Roy, he'll die. You don't even have to break up with him, just don't marry him.

Lilith: Because that would be BORING. And I did want you to break up with him. He knows what he did.

Karen: Also, you have definitely never actually apologized for that even once.

Terra: ....yeah, that part didn't sound right.

Lilith: Whatever. The point is they're destined to live happily ever after but if you want to meddle with fate and your best friend's future then fine be my guest.

Karen: Isn't your entire niche on this team sharing visions of the future so we can meddle with fate. Like isn't that your entire deal.

Lilith: Oh no, you left your stove on at home. You should go get that.

Karen: Look there's an easy solution here. Raven, is she lying?

Raven: Yes.

Lilith: This is why people don't like you.

Raven: Also a lie. People don't like me because they find my empathy powers unnerving and I make them self-conscious.

Lilith: Why must you make it so hard to insult you.

Terra: Skill issue.

Kory: Thank you all for this, its been very helpful. I've made up my mind. If we're this dysfunctional and that's never invalidated or lessened my care for any of you, I'm not ready to call it quits on my feelings for him just because he and his family are dysfunctional. Even though they definitely extremely are.

Donna: ....wait. I wanna do-over.

Lilith: Nailed it.

Kory: Also I kinda wanna keep dating him just because of how much Batman doesn't want me to.

Terra: Ooof. Big mood.

Years later, after the Batfamily is no longer self-isolating and fully intermingled with the Titans, JLA and rest of the cape community, while they're all awaiting the birth of Kory and Dick's daughter.....

Lilith: And just think, you all thought I was lying.

Donna: You WERE lying. Raven literally confirmed it.

Raven: No I didn't.

Donna: What are you talking about? We were all there! Karen asked you if she was lying, point blank, and you said yes!

Raven: I know, I remember. Lilith said "oh no, you left your stove on at home. You should go get that." And then Karen asked me if she was lying, and I said yes. I never said anything about Dick and Kory having a daughter. That part was true.

Donna: ....

Terra: .....

Karen: .....

Lilith: LMAO, I have been waiting five years for this specific moment, and you know what? Worth every single second.

Donna: This is why people don't like you.

Lilith: I know, and it is GLORIOUS. Looooooooooool. Also, I call dibs on god-mother. Kory, remember how Donna tried to meddle with fate and prevent the birth of your daughter, should she really be rewarded for that? I was in your corner all along.

Dick: We are not appointing our daughter's god-mother based on dibs.

Terra: I literally saw you tell Roy he could be her god-father after he yelled "Dibs!" just the other day.

Dick: Yeah but that's just because I also told Wally and Garth that they could be god-father as long as they kept quiet about it until Kory and I were fully settled with Ma'ri and ready to deal with the inevitable drama the others would raise when they found out we didn't pick them. Whichever of them figures it out first will be the god-father and with how hyper-competitive they are the other two will be too preoccupied with being pissed he beat them to be mad at me for not picking them.

Terra: You're so weird, I can't even. Why is this working for me.

Lilith: I'm taking notes.

Kory: Should've called dibs when you had the chance.

Donna: ANYWAY. Now that we have Raven's confirmation that Lilith was telling the truth about Dick and Kory back then, this whole god-mother debate is a moot point. I mean, Lilith herself already said she was MY future god-daughter, as I recall.

Lilith: .....well played, Troy.

[dg-outlaw]

Batman #148 Thoughts... or Why Jason Todd is Awesome and Batman Doesn't Deserve Him.

So... I know a lot of the discussion about this issue has been about what happens to Jason, and IYKYK. What I want to discuss are parts of the rest of the issue and why I think Jason is one of the best characters (and more than how many perceive him). *spoilers ahead*

I know many outsiders and even those in fandom look at Jason Todd or the Red Hood and think of him as the hot, angsty edge lord who isn't afraid to break Batman's one rule. He's cool and badass so you want to be like him or he's the romantic fantasy bad boy with a soft side. These things are fine, but this is often where people stop with Jason or if they dislike him the above descriptions are why.

Some people want him to be an antagonist again because villains are cool and this is where we get things like 'The Boys' because it's edgy, subversive, or some intelligent deconstruction of superheroes. Colorful and honorable superheroes like Superman or Spider-Man are boring, just a fantasy, or for kids who don't understand the real world. Again, fine if that's your take, but I don't believe that one "graduates" from one to the other.

Beyond the Fast and Furious style cool factor of fast cars, guns, and explosions that often get associated with Jason, there's more to him than that and it's why he's still one of my favorites. Hell, this is the same character that writers thought would be a priest in the Flashpoint universe, a universe that had gone to hell in a handbasket but in all that chaos and darkness he became a PRIEST.

(The World of Flashpoint: Issue #2)

Say what you will about organized religion, Christianity, or the Catholic church (because there are definitely issues there), but I think two of Jason's core traits that I admire are his faith and hope. Traits that often get Jason hurt by the people closest to him, but that often see him through the darkest times.

The cheapness of using Jason's "death" aside, these traits are seen again in Batman #148. Not only is Jason willing to put his faith in Bruce again (after everything "not" Bruce did to him in Gotham War), but he's the first down into the cave.

This isn't blind faith, but a willingness to try. A hope that maybe this time he won't be hurt, even if time and time again history has proven otherwise. Note: This can be a slippery and dangerous slope and not one without consequences as many people fall into the trap of going back into or staying in toxic relationships that only bring them pain. (And I never said his greatest strengths can't also be his greatest weaknesses).

We also see some emotional maturity and growth in this issue and I love that for Jason. Has he been going to therapy? Maybe, but my money is that he's probably been reading lots of self-help books or something.

Does Bruce deserve this level of forgiveness and compassion from Jason? No, but Jason gives it to him anyway. I also feel like this is a soft challenge from Jason. "I'm not here to save you from yourself or to ask you to save me. We do this together or not at all."

And if you're thinking, "Oh no, Jason has gone soft. Not my Jason Todd!" He's still a cheeky bastard in battle, even when he's on the ropes.

Now, for Jason's "death", one could say that it was a cheap ploy by the writer or DC to get people talking or to have a random "Jason dies" scene (though he's revived in the same issue so I feel the emotional stakes/hype are less compared to leaving it open-ended until the next issue).

One could also look at it in a cynical light given it's Jason that Bruce brings down into the cave during the flashback reveal with the secret Lazarus Kool-Aid. Did Bruce plan that knowing Jason would volunteer in some sort of reverse psychology manipulation? Was it just a random plot explanation to justify having the "Jason dies" scene? Who knows? Though I think Dick or Tim would've volunteered as well. But my focus is on the conversation.

This is another example of Jason's hope and faith, and his faith in Bruce. Bruce's plan isn't tested, though one could assume that he's done the math so to speak, but it's still Jason literally putting his life in Bruce's hands. It's also fairly clever because if Failsafe is some echo of Batman, then something in his programming probably knows about the emotional pain of Jason's initial death. So not only is "killing" going to make him glitch out, but killing Jason is probably the ultimate Failsafe glitch.

Deep down I think Jason knows how much he means to Bruce, even if Bruce is terrible at showing it sometimes. He's willing to take the risk and die, not for Bruce, but for the greater good of saving the day.

Let's also not forget that in the span of a short amount of (in-universe) time, Jason has saved the entire East Coast (end of Gotham War), Gotham City (end of The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing), and is now ready to die again to stop Failsafe--all while his brain is still probably a little messed up from Gotham War.

Let this young man take a damn vacation!

Was this issue perfect? No. And I agree with others about it not being cool that Steph, Cass, and Duke got sidelined as the clean-up crew, but I do think it showed a lot of Jason's deeper character (flawed or not) and how he's more than just the edgy, sarcastic bad boy. That part of him is just the hard candy shell he's had to create to protect the gooey center that is his hope, faith, and love. After all, Damian has previously (and rightly) called him out as the "emotional one".

P.S. I know my previous post picked on Jason's Red Hood outfit at the end and I still stand by the fact that it wasn't my favorite, but seeing that it's Jorge Jimenez's art, I can forgive it. I love most of Jorge's art and would kill (not literally) to be as talented as him, but that outfit design is still a no for me. Sorry, Jorge. :(

[an-au-blog]

a few days ago i saw a post about sanji cheating on gin with zoro, but I'll be completely honest, I don't think HE would be the one cheating. And this isn't even talking from my being a sanji enjoyer, I just think that if he's not 1000% invested in a relationship with a man, it would never get past a situationship. Not because of some moral high ground, he just doesn't care enough about it all. On the other hand GIN's the type of guy who's both deeply insecure and overly cocky if someone gives him an ounce of attention. (And I'm sorry to say this but,) usually it's the ugly ones that always think they can get away with cheating. (As Billie Eilish said: give an ugly guy a chance and he thinks he owns the world.)

So here's my spin on this love triangle:

Sanji had been courted for a while by Gin. He never saw him more than the occasional fling. But Gin seemed so enamored with Sanji, he was promising him the moon, he would worship him like it would be his last day on earth, he would show an overwhelming love that Sanji never thought he deserved. It made him feel good. And surely enough, after a long pursuit, Sanji found himself catching feelings and agreed to be his boyfriend.

When that happened after that was that two strong emotions were stirred inside Gin as absolute truths. 1. He was on top of the world because, how could he not? He managed to bag the guy that not only hot girls like Viola and O-Some liked, but guys like Ace and Zoro had been eyeing. Which brought him to 2. Most of the people who had tried to flirt with Sanji were a worry, but the worst one yet was Zoro. See, Zoro was not only objective attractive and in love with Sanji, but also one of his inner circle of friends. And even worse: they were quite close.

So when he got so jealous to the point where he sought out comfort on the bottom of a bottle, he felt it was justified. More than that: when he found his way into someone else's bed, it was completely justified. Of course he loved Sanji so SO much but that was exactly why he cheated. He just knew for a fact that Sanji MUST HAVE cheated AT LEAST with Zoro, right? I mean, how could he not? Plus, it wasn't like the cheating incident would happen again, it was a one time slip up. Except that it wasn't a one time slip up. No. Gin never got caught and thought that was some kind of a sign that he must have underestimated himself before. He found himself more confident, and therefore more attractive to some people. The "some people" who ended up in bed with him over and over again.

But like everything finds its end, so did Gin's luck. It was a mess and ugly breakup. Gin denied, pleaded, and screamed in anger. Sanji refused to listen, tried to get out as fast as he could, and ended up kicking Gin's nose in when he started yelling at him.

"It's not like I'm the only cheater here! Yeah, I know you're probably fucking Roronoa on the side, I've seen the way he looks at you-" profanities followed, much too vulgar for me to write, knowing fully how utterly false they all were.

Sanji furrowed his brows. "I never cheated. But now that we're over, I might actually need a friendly shoulder."

Gin was a mox of pale fear and red with rage.

"How does it feel to know you pushed me into his arms?" He didn't wait for an answer before he left.

And when he left, he found himself just where Gin feared he would. He didn't have any actual intentions on going to Zoro but now that Gin said it... the marimo really WAS always there for him, wasn't he? And he was the most loyal and honest man Sanji knew. He was actually convinced that the man couldn't keep a secret or lie to save his life. Sanji needed something real for once.

Before Zoro could ask why angrily crying Sanji was at his door, Sanji asked "Are you in love with me?"

Zoro gaped like a fish out of water before averting his eyes with a sour expression. "Uh... I... damn it curls..."

It was all the answer Sanji needed before he flung himself onto the man. Adorning him with kisses and straddling him midair. Knocking into walls and furniture making their way into the bedroom.

Zoro there Sanji onto the bed, watching him getting undressed. "What... what about Gin."

"We're done."

Zoro found that pride of being a rebound was lacking in the face of being with the man he had been in love with for so long.

Sanji's phone buzzed and pinged with calls, messages and voicemail from the floor, but then again, neither of them heard anything past the noise they were already making.

At some point afterwards, Zoro picked it up and saw the manic messages. He couldn't help but gloat. He sent a picture and captioned it "don't be a sour loser" before blocking him. (Sanji found out but couldn't find it in him to be upset in the slightest.)

[sbocconichilista]

"I am a warrior, but maybe this is not my fight."

[WWDITS S6EP5 SPOILERS!!!]

Just finished episode 5, and you can bet your ass I have some shit to say. As it is something I've already discussed and like analyzing, I'll go on about the Nandermo situation for now, but I'd like to talk about other topics too, maybe in another post.

This episode was a rollercoaster, and I think all my worries are now at peace (at least the one regarding Nandor's growth). I imagined that Nandor was just about to throw another ginormous tantrum about the stupidest of the things, but I was positively surprised when I saw his attitude towards the situation: he honestly had valid reasons to be angry, reasons I didn't even think about at first, but they came to me as a slap in the face as Nandor spoke, as I can imagine they did to Guillermo. Obviously, the solution wasn't war, but I can see why he would react like this. He was a warrior, after all.

"You live a thousand years, and you think you know what betrail is, what horror is, but then, in a single instant, you find out you haven't the slightest idea of what men is truly capable of."

This is what he says. And although it seems so extravagant and exaggerated, his pain is real. He was so sure about Guillermo's loyalty, not because he expected it as a Master, but as a friend, as a companion, given that he has always been loyal to him: "I may have done a lot of things, Guillermo, but I never got rid of you". He's right when he says so, and honestly I, as probably Guillermo, never really realized how much has probably costed Nandor to protect Guillermo from the vampire world, how much he risked to keep him safe. He really has done a lot for him, and he also finally addresses his mistakes.

Nandor felt betrayed and this time I can do nothing but agree with him. Guillermo tries to justify it all saying that it's the "human world way", but Nandor was human too, and the type of loyalty he shared with his comrades he expected from Guillermo: this makes me understand how he really perceives him in his life. He feels bonded to him, and reserved fidelity to him; not always respect or recognition, but fidelity yes.

Still, I agree with Guillermo about some points. At first he sees the whole thing as another big absurdity came out from Nandor's neediness and I can't blame him for having been prejudiced (i was myself), but then he understands how hurt Nandor felt.

Although, as he said in the previous episode, maybe this thing between the two of them isn't meant to be: he now has a new purpose, and he invites Nandor to start healing and find a new one too.

"I am a warrior, but maybe this is not my fight" it's with this statement that Nandor finally aknowledges that he needs to let it go too. The relationship between them started with all the worst moves, and it can't go any further without continuing to inflict wounds to both of them.

When Nandor tells Guillermo to go away using Alexa, these lyrics are used: "get out, right now, it's the end of you and me", and I'm starting to think it could really be like it says. Maybe Nandermo will never happen, and maybe it's for the best. Still I keep my hope close, and I wish that all of this was just a big demolition to build a new foundation for a stronger and healthier relationship, but I won't bet too much on it.

This episode was a huge statement fr. I feel like I've left out so many details, but I guess if something comes up to my mind, I'll just post about it later. Also, I wrote all of this as fast as I could, so please forgive me if you've encountered some errors.

"When one is burned, one feels most at home among the ashes" said Nandor, and I think I'll do the same and go cry about this while re-watching the whole series 😔.

[spiritsglade]

Ima. Jason was 14 at death believer and not just because of Tim and the 18th birthday graveside visit, although that does also make sense- Tim and Jason are just under two years apart, 12-14 when Jason dies, by time Tim meets Bruce he’s a fresher 13, gives him the most time to be 13. When post crisis happens and (and Jason is not mentioned in this story) dicks second version of leaving happens, someone writes in and wonders how this could be- the timeline is confusing. The batsignal response says this story “happened about three years ago”. Pre crisis Jason is 11 at first appearance and then post crisis him being a “fifth grade dropout” is mentioned several times- that’s 10-11. Bruce was aome for some time before finding jason as well- so it seems very likely the timeline is the same- Jason found at eleven and starting robin at 12? Either way- dick left three years ago in comic time- making jason 15 in comic time would mean a really fast timeline when usually comics happen much slower than “real time”. Mostly I just think “he wanted to be 16” doesn’t indicate age- I’ve heard 13 year olds who can’t wait to be 18 because they can get a tattoo XD

[see the age section of my death certificate post for context]

yes yes anon this makes a lot of sense!! tim's age is the big thing for me, just given the timeline of jason's death in april, if jason's 15 + 8 months, it requires an extremely short turnaround for tim to still be 13 when he shows up.

giving tim more time to be 13 also gives jason more time to be, well, dead, and lets the timeline breathe a little bit more. (jason has to be 17 during hush, which is... rough to make work with lost days/under the hood, if he died at 15.)

jason being 11 is generally what i use for when he was picked up by batman, yes! didn't know about pre-crisis jason, but i have definitely been going off of the "fifth grade drop-out" thing. and we know pretty definitively that jason was robin at twelve - it's mentioned in lost days + that one scarcrow anti-fear toxin issue shows bruce imagining a gravestone for jason that reads 1974-1968.

i don't remember where i got this from but iirc bruce's parents died in june (in this continuity) so jason would have been 11 + 10 months when picked up by bruce, robin after six months of training would have placed him at 12 + 4 months. and then with a death at 14 + 8 that maths out to about two years are robin, three under bruce's care. which works well imo. given the leeway with august birthdays you could also have jason be 10 + 10 months when bruce first noticed him, which has the fun effect of retroactively widening the age gap with dick. which i am a fan of tbh.

you're absolutely right about comics happening much slower than real time, usually. i think with post-crisis they were really trying to speedrun through all the origin stories, since pre-crisis already had jaybin and dick established as nightwing. it's still gets to me sometimes that post-crisis jaybin existed for less than two real life years before being killed off. i'm sos osrry they hated you so much jaybin. ily.

true and fair point about kids wanting to turn "milestone" ages even when they're still far off from them!! though usually it's because there's some like... additional thing that becomes available (driving, voting, drinking, etc.)

i do still reference jason dying as a 15 year old sometimes, mostly because that's convention and when i justify my headcanons i can get... very rambly about it. but in my heart. you are absolutely right anon. this kid died at 14 <3

[beevean]

It's really noticeable how vampires in NFCV are... so boring.

For getting all the main focus of the narrative at the expense of the heroes, the worldbuilding is incredibly lazy, to the point that they almost suffer from Twilight syndrome and don't even feel like real vampires. They're more like blood drinking elves.

Under a read more because this got long and picture-heavy. What can I say, I love my references.

1) Vampires don't bite. The only vampire shown biting is Dracula in one flashback.

(in S2E4, Godbrand leads the other generals on a drinking spree, but they are mostly shown dismembering humans with swords and claws, the closest thing to drinking being Raman pouring blood down her throat from a decapitated person.)

The need to drink blood to survive is an important plot point both in S2 and in the Styria subplot, and it is repeated that vampires see humans as nothing more than livestock, but we rarely, if ever, see vampires feasting on humans.

Hell, not only the Styrian council keeps blood in convenient chalices, which could still be justified by them living a decadent lifestyle (something something symbolism of how detached nobility is), but a starved Godbrand dreams of decapitating humans, not eating them. As I explained here, it is especially noticeable with Lenore, the "kind" vampire who owns a human slave. like. the topic of feeding on him or marking him as her property should have come up at one point, right? Or making her look "weird" for not wanting to bite anyone?

It would have been so cool if it became a plot point in the last episode, when Lenore is placed on house arrest. Isaac, naturally, refuses to deliver humans for Lenore to drink from, so her only choices once the reserves run out are to either feed like a "real" vampire from Hector, who would gladly give his life for her because he wants to keep her with him no matter what, or starve. Hence, the decision to just commit suicide, as she would rather die than hurt the man she loves with her monstrosity. Instead, whatever she's drinking is portrayed as wine, and herself like she's getting drunk. Which is not a bad idea, as she said that she enjoys human food, but that tidbit went nowhere fast. Aside from this one scene, we never see one vampire eating food, not even her.

(I forgot, until now, that she says "we eat", and not "I" like I thought. With how she looks at the side, I'm almost tempted to think this is one of her many lies to paint vampirekind as better than it is, but for the sake of this argument, let's assume that she's being sincere)

In fact, nothing is done with the details of a vampire's general diet and their alternatives: the most we know is that Godbrand hates pig blood because "it gives him the shits". This is the only mention of the classic trope of a vampire drinking animal blood, a staple in works that aim to give moral depth to vampires, as they could be given a choice to live on without harming people in exchange for less strength/pleasure - in fact, it is very confusing how somehow vampires digest human food, including fruits like berries, better than animal blood. Lenore introduces the concept of eating human food not for nourishment, but for hedonistic pleasure, implying that vampires don't suffer any consequence from doing this and it's the equivalent of eating treats (which is a shame: it would have been much more interesting to see a vampire insisting on eating human food even if it causes nothing but pain. conflict? never heard of her). This contradicts what we see in the rest of the series, which is that vampires' idea of hedonistic pleasure is to simply, as I mentioned before, dismember humans. It could have, however, furthered Lenore's character as the "odd" vampire who prefers to indulge in human habits like that silly "diplomacy", perhaps even hinting at a resentment against her own vampirism which is another staple of the genre (indulging in shallow pleasures seems to be, for her, the only reason to live forever - an empty lifestyle for an empty person who might be easily pushed to suicide...), but once again, nothing comes of it until it becomes time for her to ragequit out of life in a way that is probably meant to convey "I am disgusted at the monster than I am and will become", that would have fit the previous exchange, but feels more like "i don't want to face the consequences of my actions :<", since vampirism has never been a true issue for her until the end.

Speaking of Lenore, a detail I realized recently is that she looks disgusted when Hector cuts his finger in front of her. A human would naturally be repulsed by the sight of blood and gore... but she is a vampire. She should salivate at the sight of him bleeding all over the floor, even in the general horror of the situation, as a harsh reminder that no matter how hard she tried to look human and peaceful, she is still an animal at her core, a predator who fell in "love" with her prey. Carmilla and Lenore deliberately lick Hector's blood when they wound him as an act of humiliation, but there is a distinct lack of bloodlust from these vampires. Lenore lusts for Hector in a distinctly human way, even including her dehumanization of him. Pass Dracula who is supposed to be ancient, but does everyone have iron-strong self control? Couple this with how vampires often dismember humans but rarely feed on them, and you have to wonder if blood really is a precious resource to them.

The lack of biting was thankfully fixed in Nocturne, where vampires, here depicted as more bestial, are frequently shown eating in all of its messy glory, including a poor girl frequently victim of Erzsébet's hunger.

2) Turning is barely given lip service. In S2, Carmilla mocks Dracula for never turning his "pet", and since her backstory involves being turned by a "cruel old man", one can assume that this is expected of vampires, that they turn humans they fall in love with - if they don't, it means they just see them as toys. Which makes sense from a vampire's perspective: humans are inferior, and being turned is bestowing them a high honor. As she says,

But after that, the topic gets dropped. We don't know anything about any other vampire's past and how they have joined the ranks of the undead. There are no sires and broods. No human is shown wanting to be a vampire, no vampire is shown planning to turn a human, and no human is turned into a vampire on-screen, showing us how the transformation changes you. The question "why didn't Dracula turn Lisa?", which could have spurned an interesting discussion about damning one's soul to selfishly cheat death and how much Dracula truly cared about Lisa's wishes, never gets answered, as Carmilla asked it only to make the Lord look stupid, and stupid he looks. I find an utter waste how Lenore's "tragic" backstory is limited to the war she experienced during her human childhood, and nothing is known about the two hundred years she spent as a vampire and how she dealt with this massive change and suddenly becoming a creature of war and murder she allegedly despises (then again, she's even lucky to have any sort of backstory, very few characters are blessed with one). And let's not even talk about that out-of-nowhere shot of vampire children skulls that rise all sorts of questions that the show does not bother to answer.

This, too, was finally fixed in Nocturne, where Erzsébet turns the aforementioned girl and most importantly Tera by forcing her own blood in her mouth, and we see the process in all of its uncomfortableness. Tera as a newborn vampire shows more internal conflict than anyone from the OG show, which isn't even much, but the difference in treatment of vampirism is noticeable - at least she's tempted by her own daughter's throat!

3) Vampires invoke God's name despite being outside of God's graces, which shows the lack of care in these details.

(Carmilla in particular seems quite fond of calling God's name lol)

And I wouldn't think much of it, if S4 didn't also include that idiotic, lore-breaking scene of crosses being harmful to vampires not as a symbol of God, but because "it confuses the shit out of their brains". When you think about it, for a series infamous for its CHURCH BAD philosophy, you'd think they'd want to explore vampires' relationship with God and the Church, even in a "we're better than the stupid Christians" way. Even in the games you have oddities like Dracula declaring war against God, yet often including a chapel in his castle, that raises interesting questions about his own relationship with religion which were half-answered in Lament of Innocence. Again, this was at least mentioned in Nocturne, when it's said that Drolta can walk around in Emmanuel's church because his actions desecrated it.

And do I need to even mention that water-blessing zombie bishop that is the bane of my existence? Sure, God would absolutely lend His blessing powers to an evil vampire and her necromancer lackey! Sure, crosses upset vampires for """scientific""" reasons but holy water burns them because of divine intervention! Love how it makes all the time wasted on that asinine scene of vampires discoursing about running water hurt just a little more! What next, does the sun set them on fire because their skin is made of gasoline?

4) I simply don't get the feeling that vampires are dead bodies animated by some sort of demonic energy. The most we get is a general pallor - and even then, the vampires of color like Sharma, Raman or Morana have a perfectly healthy skin tone. Or Dracula and Carmilla (and Alucard in Nocturne S2) getting blood in their sclera when particularly feral. If they can, apparently, eat human food without any consequence, it suggests that they have a functional digestive system and all (make of this what you will). Carmilla is shown being unaffected by the cold, implying that she has a naturally low temperature, but humans don't even flinch when touched by what should be, by all means, walking corpses.

Hector being, apparently, able to smell Lenore before even hearing her (which logically should mean that everytime she invades his personal space it would give him the mother of all headaches, but I could chalk it up to clunky writing) could have been a hint that vampires reek of death and need to mask it by covering themselves in perfume; but of course, like many possibly intriguing details, it goes nowhere, because having our beautiful vampires stinking of rot and strong perfume would be unappealing.

and yes i am saying hector should have frozen his dick off while fucking lenore why do you ask. she didn't even drink his blood to warm herself up, i swear the basics of vampire sex 😭

5) A smaller nitpick before the main course: vampires sleep. They sleep exactly like humans, just during the day: Carmilla, Striga and Morana are implied to sleep in their own beds, and at one point Godbrand falls asleep on a chair. They even have dreams and nightmares. Again, I must stress: even Twilight scoffed at the legend of vampires sleeping in coffins, but not only that story took place in a modern setting, the catch was that they didn't sleep at all, which makes sense for a race of undead predators!

6) This one drives me up a wall: "vampire culture" is a farce. In S3, Lenore makes a whole show of gifting Hector a book about their culture, which he finds utterly fascinating because he didn't even know vampires had a culture in the first place.

Well, neither do I! What is this vampire culture that intrigues Hector so?

Social norms? Biting etiquette? Rituals of bonding and turning human beings? The implicit social message you send by making your claws grow longer or cutting them short? That's what I would picture to be very crucial parts of vampire society!

Hector's examples of vampire culture are "ideas about physical presence in the world, the importance of soil and landscape and… being", which is all frustratingly vague: why should soil be important to a culture that has no need for agriculture? Maybe if vampires slept in their own fucking coffins, filled with the soil of their native land like in the Dracula book, this would make sense, but no, as I said, these things sleep in beds like humans!

What is this "philosophy" that he mentions, "conquer all the things" as implied in the "strength and power" conversation in the very last episode? Lenore jokingly goads Hector in admitting that "they're not all monsters", but aren't her attempts at pacifism and diplomacy supposed to be an outlier? Vampires are generally depicted to be warmongering! The most I can think of is the fact that vampires need to have long-term vision due to their immortality which gives them a different outlook of their own existence (which is, admittedly, Lenore's point in that speech I linked), but that, again, contradicts how they are often depicted to be hedonists who indulge in short-term violence!

Is part of vampire culture turning human children to make child vampires, as accidentally implied by the shot of kids' skulls? What about dhampirs, how common and well accepted are they? Alucard is never considered an oddity for being a hybrid. How are vampire/human relationships seen, beyond the general idea of keeping a human as a pet to be fucked?

And what does the aforementioned scene about running water tell us, if not that not even vampires are all sure of what hurts them and what doesn't? Which would imply that vampires are left to fend for themselves by their sires and they have to learn about their own weaknesses the hard way, which is not a bad concept, but this contradicts the idea that vampires are an united society and some of them write down their knowledge! "It's not like we're given a manual for being a vampire" i dunno chief, you yourself seem pretty knowledgeable about ancient vampire history!

(incidentally, we see Hector reading a book in S4E2, which could have implied he's still interested in vampire culture but this time for the sake of playing their own mindgames, but we don't know what it's about and I'm not going to do the writers' job for them, afawk he was just chilling in his gilded cage)

The only "vampire culture" we see is that they essentially preserve human technology that would otherwise be lost to time.

What Lenore is flaunting here is a hypocaust. Which, while they were mostly used at the time of the Roman Empire, actually survived for longer in Eastern Europe than it did in the West, meaning that the Greek Hector should not be this surprised. Turns out, not all humans forget.

It was also kept lit by slaves, which raises all sorts of interesting implications about how the Styrian castle works (they could have handwaved it with magic, but Lenore explicitly makes it about real science, so). But naturally, we never see human slaves being forced to keep the castle warm: that would make Lenore and her attempts to sell the castle as a great place to live in look bad, and Hector's gilded cage less dreamy for the people who believe he got a great deal.

And to briefly go back to the issue of confusing biology... why in the fuck would a castle of vampires, established to be impervious to cold, need a heating system? Are humans part of the castle? Who benefits from the heat, the same slaves that keep the hypocaust lit? The vampires torture Hector in all sorts of ways, including dousing him in icy water, because they see him as little more than a stinking dog only kept alive because Carmilla needs him, but they bother to keep prisoners warm, wasting precious resources? At least I can see why Dracula would build a heating system for Lisa in his castle! This is just stupid! This was mentioned ad hoc to stroke the vampires' dick! "I keep telling you, we're not monsters" only because the writing is bending itself backwards just for you, Lenore!

But back to the main point. This could have been a very interesting topic of discussion, because this means that vampires are soulless parasites who can only vicariously benefit from humanity's ingenuity, unable to produce and only able to steal for themselves (much like they steal human blood), arrogantly believing themselves to be superior but not acknowledging that they need those creatures they see as livestock! Even the comment that vampires "don't forget" could have a negative side, as it means that vampirekind is stagnant, stuck in the past, unable to move on! But no, they are simply framed as superior for their long memory, because they are so technologically advanced, unlike those stupid humans held back by the CHURCH BAD, that they can wear modern clothes and have electric lamps, ohhh, ahhh!

Vampires wear more modern fashion than humans in Castlevania (Alucard invented the V-neck), so there's more room to play with clothing periods.

Yeah, vampire culture is Alucard's cheap, tiddy-exposing V-neck shirt! And dazzling the backwards brown people humans in the spare time. Sign me in!

Incidentally, do you remember when Dracula was framed as being unique for being a man of science in a largely ignorant, religion-riddled world, to the point that it's the main reason Lisa approached him to teach her "real" medicine? And the main reason Alucard feels sorry for his father's madness, because he will use his massive knowledge for evil? And the main reason Isaac wanted to lay down his own life to save that of his Lord?

Yeah, neither do the writers. Dracula is only valued for his ancient "knowledge" by the people who care about him, and by S3 that same knowledge isn't even special anymore. I swear, Dracula is the third most hated character in the show after Hector and Trevor.

Speaking of Hector, he's by far the worst victim of this vampire idealization. He could have had an arc of him learning to love humanity over vampirekind, the same kind that did nothing but use him and hurt him even worse than humans did. He could have accepted that, despite its flaws, humanity can also be good, and the world overall isn't as black and white as he thought. Not at all. His lack of empathy towards his own species is never addressed if not to make him look stupid. Most infuriatingly, his character arc ends with him declaring that he has learned to appreciate "the value and the beauty of things (i.e. vampires, i.e. Lenore) that live longer than he does", keeping him stagnant and shooting in the foot S4's half-hearted attempt to dismantle this idolized image of vampires as a species. Appreciation for humanity's virtues? Not in my adaptation of Castlevania, which is all about the strength of mankind prevailing over evil!

6) And to cap it all off, their powers! What a lack of imagination. What an embarrassment. Vampires are super fast and super strong, with sharp claws, and a few of them are shown turning into bats and mist. Dracula, the most powerful vampire, can shoot one Hellfire. That's. That's it.

Really? This is the adaptation of a videogame series where the most wet cat of a vampire uses telekinesis to throw swords at people! There is a whole ass vampire who stole Dracula's castle through the power of reality-warping paintings! Ohh look how cool Carmilla is dashing around in her final stand, yeah well my Carmilla can turn into a giant naked lady riding a skull that cries corrosive bloody tears!

Where is the damn creativity?! Where is my True Dracula in all of his monstruous Dark Lord glory???

(as a miniscule kernel of positivity, I need to quickly praise Cho for outright weaponizing turning into mist, a power mostly used for evasion. And Sypha for weaponizing it right back, by freezing and shattering her. See, this is a creative display of power! And it's for one of the most wasted cardboard cut-outs of the show. riveting :V)

You know the worst thing? The vampire with the most vampiric traits... is Alucard. Alucard sleeps in a coffin, and even implies that it's more comfortable for him than a bed.

Alucard flashes his fangs and hisses the most to enemies.

Alucard reminds the Japanese not-twins in a spar fight that he's tempted to bite them and drink their blood. Alucard has a sword that he can swing around with telekinesis, more similar to Joachim's power than his own in SoTN. Alucard also shows an extra transformation in the form of a wolf.

Why is the dhampir more of a vampire than the vampires in this setting??? If we didn't see him casually standing in the sun, no one would be able to tell he's half-human! Why, is it hotter if he hisses and talks about his non-existant bloodlust?? It only makes the scene with the kids' skulls, where it's all but said that he keeps cruelly insulting Trevor and his entire bloodline because they kill "his people", all the more demeaning to his character! The whole point of Alucard is that he chooses his own humanity over his vampire side!!

I know that at this point I should give up all pretenses that this show has anything in common with the videogame series it stole its name from, but I am still utterly baffled that they took three protagonists - Trevor the vampire hunter who chose to help the same people that shunned him, Alucard the dhampir who chose to honor his human mother's wish to stand against his vampire lineage, and Hector the Devil Forgemaster who chose to forgive humanity and turn over a new leaf from his Devil-serving days - that in different ways represent the virtue of humanity, and pissed all over them in different ways to prop up their shitty elves! Because this is what vampires are in this universe: arrogant, smug, flaccid, incompetent dark elves that can't even make a proper threat but we are still meant to see as hot!

And that's really the thing. Vampires in NFCV aren't just as dull as dishwater and with a less defined biology than that of Meyerpires (the comparisons with Twilight aren't casual), but they don't stand for anything. Vampires are a prime concept for metaphors such as feudalism, illness that consumes you, the taboo of homosexuality, carnal desire, abusive relationships, feeling like "others" and "unwanted" by society, etc. Even Nocturne, NOCTURNE, one of the emptiest stories about vampires I had the displeasure of watching, uses vampirism as a metaphor for nobility and colonialism and the way they greedily suck away all the resources of the people they oppress! It's as subtle as a kick in the balls and it shatters what little original lore there was left, but the idea is there! It's trying to send a message!

What is NFCV's message conveyed through its decision to focus on vampires as a species, that humans suck? It certainly would fit the nigh-relentless cynicism of the show. Who cares about worldbuilding or consistent characterization? Just add some "deep", pretentious speeches about the evils of CHURCH BAD and how shitty humans are, and look how the praises for being Peak Fiction fall from the sky.

[whumpback-wail]

05 - Divulgence

Trial by Fire (Wriothesley x Reader) - TW/CW in masterlist

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IMPORTANT NOTICE: Reminder that this fanfic contains dark and mature themes. The TW/CW are in the masterlist and are constantly updated as I add each chapter. Please reread the warnings, proceed only after you reread the warnings. If you don't like/can't handle the topics mentioned in the TW/CW, please DO NOT read. This work is 100000% fictional and any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental, and none of the characters (especially the villains) are real. Again, please DO NOT read if you are not certain you can handle these topics or are in a bad place mentally. Minors are strictly forbidden. I only create content, and I am not responsible for your personal content preference and moderation.

They say being pregnant means everyday is another day closer to meeting the love of your life. One anticipates meeting the fruit of their love with their spouse, looking forward to the bright sunshine days of taking care of that precious someone.

(y/n) did not understand that feeling. In fact she felt the exact opposite, as she slid down the walls of the bathroom, legs too weak to support her own weight. The pregnancy stick in her hand fell to the floor, bouncing to a stop face up, showing the positive sign. Why does this happen to her? What did she ever do to deserve this?

She has to call nurse Komaki, she will know what to do. The thing was still a cell after all, with no soul not consciousness, it should be perfectly fine. It would be so much more cruel to keep the innocent being and let it be born, only for them to later be neglected and unloved. No child deserves that. Not even one born from being forced into her womb by the person she despised the most.

It was nearing lunch, and she knew her fiancé would be back by then, he always makes time to have lunch with her. She has to tell nurse Komaki fast.

(y/n) took several deep breaths to calm herself, and then slowly got up to her bed again, pressing the call button.

A few moments later, she heard the door open.

"Nurse Komaki, I-" (y/n) turned her head, and came face to face with a different nurse altogether. It was not Komaki.

"I'm sorry, nurse Komaki is away right now, her shift will start later tonight. Is there anything I can help you with, miss (y/n)?"

(y/n) blinked back her tears, "n-no. It's okay, nothing too serious."

The nurse stood there, contemplating. "Are you sure miss?"

(y/n) nodded, racking her brain to think of an excuse or anything to justify calling a nurse to her room for nothing. "oh umm… may I have some water please?"

"Sure. It will be delivered here in a moment. Don't hesitate to call me if there's anything else that you need, okay?"

(y/n) hummed and thanked her. She watched as the nurse exit her room. She wanted Komaki, she's the only nurse (y/n) trusted at this moment, especially with something like this.

It wasn't long until the water is delivered to her room, which arrived at about the same time as Wriothesley.

He greeted her with a smile. It normally made her feel safe and loved, but right now, (y/n)'s heart sank to her stomach

"Hey, how's my sunshine doing?"

He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. Wriothesley knew he should be careful around her, as her therapist had suggested to him, at least until she is less jumpy and can initiate affectionate gestures more. So far she's taking his affections very well, which made him happy about her progress.

"As usual," (y/n) forced a smile, briefly looking into his eyes before quickly averting her gaze back to her hands. She picked at a loose string on her blanket. 

Speak more, he will notice something is off.

"The healers were a great help to my physical injuries. But they kept stopping after a little while, saying I should rest up because the sped up healing is also draining my energy."

Wriothesley nodded, "I was told, yeah. How's your stomach? Got anything you're craving to eat?"

(y/n) froze. "What?" She managed to not stammer, but her voice cracked as her heart was suddenly frozen with fear. Did he find out? How did he know-

"Just wondering how your stomach felt." Wriothesley tilted his head, confused. It was a small quirk she had found endearing.

"The doctors did say you can only eat soft food for a while to avoid refeeding syndrome, but yesterday you were finally allowed to start eating bread and some fowl. Also because you threw up yesterday."

"Oh…" (y/n) felt stupid, "it's alright now, although I don't really feel like eating."

Wriothesley watched her for a moment. He has always been someone perceptive, that's how he knew who to trust and who to avoid in meropide while still serving his sentence, and that's how he could rise through the ranks and become the duke, despite his humble beginnings. At that moment, something is off about his fiancée.

“Darling are you okay?” he took her hand in his, his other hand brushing loose strands of her hair behind her ear, “I feel like you have something weighing your mind. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

For a moment, (y/n) wavered. Is it really okay to tell him about her pregnancy? She knew Wriothesley wouldn’t blame her, after all, what happened was not something she wanted, far from it. So technically it’s not her fault right? But a small nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her to just keep it to herself for now. There were too many what ifs. It’s safer to just keep quiet about it and deal with it under wraps. She’ll tell him, of course she will, but not now.

“I’m fine,” she forced herself to look into his eyes, a small smile on her lips. “Just wondering how much longer I have to stay cooped up in here.”

Lunch went well with Wriothesley, he told her about his day. He went back to the Fortress of Meropide for a while, to keep an eye on how things are going there, before coming over to her for lunch. After this he planned to proceed with investigations, and perhaps wrap things up early so he could spend more time with her after dinner.

(y/n) managed to eat a little more, despite the anxiety induced nausea, at least enough to not make her look suspicious.

Once lunch was over, Wriothesley gave her another peck on the forehead and left to continue with investigations, with promises of taking (y/n) to the gardens near the hospital once the doctors gave her the clear, and perhaps visit Navia and Neuvilette, as the two are also her friend, as much as they are to him. He wanted more than anything to stay with her the whole time she recovered, but seeing how she often flinched if he moved a little too quickly, or how her eyes often went blank as if she was not really there, he knew he had to do something about it. The therapist assigned to her told him that she may need some time to process through the trauma, and that it was natural that she would be jumpy for the time being, and would need some space too, as stifling her would also be bad for her mental wellbeing.

He already discussed all the options, and what’s best for (y/n). Once (y/n) has recovered some more physically, and once she is ready, he would take her home and nurse her back to health. He would appoint someone else as the Duke of Meropide if that was needed to get him more time off. Right now, he has something else to do.

He did not tell her that he would be going back to the facility, specifically the hidden passage they found inside her cell. Chlorinde had done a great job in capturing the man, living up to her title of champion duelist.

The entrance was so well hidden in the room, so much so that they had to get Aether to use his elemental sight to find. They had followed the hidden maze-like pathway in the room (y/n) was kept in, and it had led them to an underground base, perhaps their real base of operations. Several men were captured, including Dougier, they seem to work directly with Arderne who unfortunately was nowhere in sight. They were all taken into custody. Wriothesley tensed as he remembered their findings.

"Wriothesley you might want to see this." He turned his head towards Neuvilette who a moment ago was rummaging through papers on a desk. The Iudex now held out a file towards him, his face grim.

The Duke took the file and opened it. There were more papers, this time it contained more detailed reports of experiments done to the people. He ruffled through the pages, skimming the words for one specific name. He found it.

Experiment Clearance Form

Title: Vision Trial Variation 2

Principal Investigator: Il Dottore

Assistant: Arderne

Subject: 1102 a.k.a. (y/n)

Vision: Pyro

This form acknowledges the approval of the experiment titled "Vision Trial Variation 2" conducted by Arderne. The experiment aims to implement the theory of vision injections on humans, followed by observation to discover the effects.

The experiment poses high risks to participants. Potential risks include memory loss, increased body temperatures, seizures, and the possibility of death. Steps have been taken to mitigate these risks. Subject is physically weakened before the start to lower the chances of the body rejecting the injection, thus increasing the success rate of this experiment. On the occasion that this experiment would fail, the study will move on to Vision Trial Variation 3, and the current subject will be discarded.

Fuck.

“Did we find any traces of Arderne?” Wriothesley’s voice dropped several octaves, Neuvilette knew what this meant.

“There are none so far,” he placed a reassuring hand on Wriothesley, “But we do have Dougier now, and we are taking him and the others to custody. We can get more information out of them-”

Wriothesley shook him off and landed a harsh kick on a table to the side, immediately breaking it. He wanted to murder them all, especially that bastard Dottore. He had heard rumours of him doing crazy experiments, but to think it happened right here in Fontaine, with his fiancee? His breaths were shaky with barely controlled rage.

“Wriothesley, I understand how frustrating this is. (y/n) is also my dear friend.” Neuvilette spoke in the most soothing tone he could muster up. “Trust me, I am just as upset as you are in this, but we have to keep a level head. For (y/n)’s sake and all the victims that were forced into this.”

They were deep underground, had they been up on the surface, they would see heavy rain mixed with snow, and thunderstorms raging outside, the weather mirroring the Iudex’s inner turmoil on the entire situation.

• • •

(y/n) wondered if she was dead or dreaming the moment she saw herself on the familiar bed of her room in the facility. Dr Arderne was standing at the foot of her bed reading through the information on his clipboard, while Dougier was securing her arms and legs with restraints.

She had been too weak to resist, having been starved for days without food, the only nutrition she got was through her IV drip and glasses of suspiciously blue coloured water, which she had no choice but to drink.

"Good morning 1102, ready for the next dose? Arderne readied a syringe. It was filled with shimmery red liquid, the glow seemed to pulse the closer it gets to her.

"F-Fuck you Arderne." (y/n) managed to mumble, making Dougier snicker.

Arderne held (y/n)'s arm and injected the contents of the syringe into her. At first it felt like nothing, but gradually she could feel it start to burn, as if fire was coursing through her veins.

It wasn't long until the burning sensation started to feel unbearable. Hot white pain spreads from the point of injection to all over her body. She bit her tongue, trying not to scream, she will not give them the satisfaction of seeing her in pain. She won't-

(y/n) jolted awake, her breaths heavy and ragged and her heart was pounding in her chest. Fuck.

It was a dream. She was safe. It was just a dream.

The room she was in, despite being a hospital room, it was completely different from the facility, with flowers her friends and fiancé got for her, and the comforting weight of her big blubberbeast plushie that Wriothesley brought from their bed at home. She hugged the plush tightly and pressed her nose to its soft fur. It smelled just like Wriothesley, as he had sprayed his cologne all over it, something she often did even before… all this.

(y/n) tried to remember what her therapist had told her. 

My name is (y/n), I am at the Fontaine hospital, guarded by the Spina di Rosula, Wriothesley stays with me during the night, and stops by for lunch. I am safe, and I am recovering.

Her therapist told her that her dreams would eventually go away as her mind heals, but how long will that take?

Glancing at the clock, she noticed it was still early, too early for Wriothesley to come back from his investigation. He had left a book with her some days ago, which she picked up and started to read, trying to get her mind off things.

As she reached for the book on her night stand, suddenly (y/n) felt the familiar tingle in her hands, running all the way up her arms. It was warm and welcoming, it felt like home. A split second later, the book she was reaching for suddenly burst into flames.

• • •

Wriothesley watched Neuvilette from behind the one way glass as the latter asked Dougier more and more questions. The Iudex had presented all the evidence they found on the table. Laying it all out for Dougier as he asked question after question that Dougier only gave vague answers to, sometimes only responding with chuckles. The scum was a goner, his mind seemingly corrupted by the facility.

He wanted to be the one who personally interrogates the vile man, but Neuvilette had forbidden him from entering, for fear of what Wriothesley would do to the suspect. Still, watching from behind the glass was frustrating, he wished Neuvilette would let them do interrogations in Meropide, where it was outside Fontaine’s jurisdiction, so they could use other means to get information.

“This is going nowhere,” Wriothesley mumbled and pushed open the door leading into the interrogation room. Fuck the consequences, he’ll probably just get an earful from Neuvilette later.

At the sight of Wriothesley, Dougier’s eyes lit up in a nasty way that the Duke did not like at all. “Ah your Grace, here to play the bad cop now?”

“Seeing how you’re going nowhere with Neuvilette, I might as well do.”

Wriothesley grabbed the chair at the corner of the room and dragged it over to sit beside Neuvilette, who was glancing at Wriothesley cautiously.

“So do you feel like talking now Dougier? I thought you were a changed man after you were released.”

Dougier only scoffed, “then I had you fooled. You have no idea what kind of grudge I hold against you, Wriothesley. You ruined the community I built in Meropide.”

“Community? You call that community? You basically started a cult, and no one liked being in there.” Wriothesley scowled.

“Nevertheless,” Dougier continued, “I had my revenge. You should have heard how much (y/n) screamed when Arderne injected her vision into her.”

Wriothesley froze. He knew about what happened but hearing it from Dougier was different from reading it on the files they found.

Dougier, seeing the change in Wriothesley’s demeanour, continued. “She was a brave one, that bitch. Endured hours upon hours of our treatment, sometimes without anaesthesia. And that was after we put her in solitary confinement. We were wrong thinking we broke her spirit already, and yet she’s still fighting.”

"And you did this to all the people in the Vision Trials?" Neuvilette asked, the pen in his hand moving to take notes.

Dougier ignored him, his eyes still glued on Wriothesley's.

"How can we reverse the vision injections?" Wriothesley asked, trying to keep his breathing steady. He knew he couldn't try anything with Neuvilette around.

"You'll have to ask Arderne for that," Dougier leaned back on his chair, "but all I know is while (y/n) is still alive, she's a failure. She had her vision inside her yet it never seemed to work, not even when we prompted her."

"What do you mean prompted her?" Neuvilette asked, and this time, Dougier turned his eyes to him..

"Oh we threatened her, and when it didn't work, beat her, did whatever to make her call on her pyro element and use the vision in her. That never seemed to work."

Wriothesley and Neuvilette were tense, the former had his fists clenched so hard.

"That was when I took her to the basement, the cold weather should prompt the vision to at least keep her warm." Dougier turned to Wriothesley, a deranged look danced in his eyes as he smiled at him.

"I can see why you like 1102. She was so brave. She never once begged or called out for you even with all the beatings, that is, until I put my cock inside her-”

Suddenly Dougier was on the ground. Wriothesley had moved so fast Neuvilette barely registered him vaulting over the table and landing a fist on Dougier's face. He managed to hammer down his fists onto Dougier some more before he felt multiple hands pull him backwards off Dougier, who was unconscious in a bloodied mess.

"GET OFF ME." He yelled at the gardemeks who held him back, but Neuvilette soon stepped in front of him, blocking his view of Dougier who was being tended to by medics.

"Wriothesley," his voice was stern, "the punching can wait until after his sentence. If he is sentenced back to Meropide then it is under your jurisdiction."

Wriothesley was breathing heavily, "he… he also… Archons, (y/n)..."

"I already let you land several hits on him" Neuvilette placed a hand on his shoulder, "but we need him alive for more information on the case, and for his trials."

Wriothesley watched, seething with rage as Dougier was taken away by the medics for further treatment. He wanted the scum to suffer as much as, if not more than (y/n). How could anyone do this to her?

Neuvilette sighed and motioned for the gardemeks to release Wriothesley, "I think it's best if you go visit (y/n) for now. I think you two need to talk."

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(;;;*_*)--c<ノ°益°)ノ _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

A/N

…now I'm sad... why do I do this to myself :") wrote this while hugging my blåhaj because I needed that warm shorky embrace.

(Tuna says hi :D and hopes everyone is okay after reading this)

I apologize for the late update, some parts of the chapter had to be rewritten to make more sense, but in the end it became longer than I planned (and I had to cut it here and continue next chapter)

Thanks for sticking around this long, I hope the update hurt you all as much as it did for me to write :"))) please stay safe and take care, and hug your pets/plushies for me 💕

P.s. I’m not sure how to write a proper experiment clearance form TwT I hope that wasn’t too off.

Taglist: @almosteggs @quuela @tempest1art @yamanaka13-blog @arseneumbra @kimmeaahh @cottonfluffs @randomidk-123 @applejayee @keigo-hawks-takami-simp @mechanicalbeat1 @aribae14 @bforbiblio @supernerdycookietrashblrr @furblrwurblr @chifuyus-kitty @bunnibabe @the-real-fandom-person

[kidspawn]

OOH could I ask about Beneath the Mask?? I’m such a sucker for vigilante aus and I’ve never seen a trc one before 👀

(Fun-ish Fact: Its what this snippet is from)

Thank you so much for asking!! This fic is kind of my baby. I've been quiet about it because, to be honest, I didn't think anyone would be interested in reading it. And it started as kind of a joke? I won't go on too long, but to explain what it is I want to just share the inspirations:

"Ronan was saying that he never lied, but he wore a liar's face" Blue Lily, Lily Blue

And this got me thinking about Ronan, his personality, how he handles his keeping of secrets, and how the bled into his relationship with Adam. Ronan doesn't technically lie. He dances around it, he bends the truth until right before it cracks. He excels in secrets. And secrets are a half skip from a lie, aren't they? And in my head, this is almost a way to justify to oneself that, if you really think about it, it's not really lying so really he's honest, right?

Now, pivot to Adam. I start thinking about how Adam responds to people keeping secrets. When Blue and Gansey were hiding their relationship, and he confronted them, he wasn't so much angry about them hiding the actual relationship as he was the idea they didn't think he could handle the truth.

So my little lizard brain goes, "god isn't that great fucking conflict??? wouldn't it be fun to write Ronan keeping this huge secret from Adam? and how that tension would build and boil over and break?" And yeah that would be so fun.

On the other hand, the idea of Ronan trying to help Adam and Adam getting pissed over it. And this going on until Adam decides he needs to figure out who the fuck this guy is and also they know each other in real life? Wowza, this will not go bad at all. Fun little push and pull, you know?

Add that onto Ronan "has never used a healthy coping mechanism in his goddamn life" Lynch dealing with what has been one hell of a year and working through his grief and isolation the only way he knows how? With a power he inherited from his father and learned could make the bad things go away. I could talk more about where the rest came from, which was a period of time spent playing Persona 5 nearly every night and thinking about Akechi Goro and his sense of justice and the idea of doing anything, anything, because if you make someone pay, maybe it'll fill that pit in your chest.

Somehow this has bled into "hey how much can I make Ronan fucking suffer because maybe my mental health will improve if I write his gradually spiraling down the drain" and I was right. I'm setting Ronan on fire, dousing him in gasoline, and dancing on the ashes. I am beating him with a wiffle bat. My skin is clear though.

I wish there was a more clear synopsis at this point. I have 50k written and most of it won't see the light of day, to be frank. It's been a lot of maneuvering and rewriting and editing to get the tone I've settled on. Henry has also made himself a major player despite all my outlines and plans. Half the fun of this story is me being able to ask questions about character dynamics and what switching them up will look like. Aging them up and threading their development if it had played out differently. I had to go and write drabbles and one shots to establish background for characterization. But at its root its the product of me starting a crack drabble I will likely never show anyone and it just spiraling so fast out of control.

There's a lot I won't clarify in terms of plot, because I'm worried sharing too much would ruin the story beats? But let me link this snippet I'm editing down, with unreliable narrator Adam judging the fuck out of Henry and kind of the groundwork for the dynamic I want to write between them:

==

“Oh.” Henry said, already making a beeline to the kitchen. “Scary when she does that, isn't it?”

“Not scary.” Adam corrected, following. “Not surprised you think it is.” Henry had never struck him as the type to know how to handle fear. Granted, the information Adam had on Henry was limited to a trust fund hefty enough for effortless comfort well into middle age. 

“You're acclimated to it.” He was digging through the fridge, edges of his nose and mouth radiant against a pale yellow glow. Even hunched over, Henry had an easy elegance when maneuvering his body. There was no rationale to Adam's envy here - elegant was the one word he knew came attributed with his features and hands and complexion - but it was more the sense of comfort in skin he figured he'd covet. 

“I got it from her mom, first.” Adam shrugged. “She comes by it honestly.” Maura had more a grasp on the theatricality of it all, and rarely needed to practice those confrontations. Adam had been trained out of reprimandable offenses long before association with the women of Fox Way. Rarely, if ever, had Maura turned admonishment his way.

Henry came up empty-handed, frowning at the shelf he'd been scouring. “There's nothing to eat.”

“There's plenty to eat.” Adam corrected, “You just don't like leftovers.”

“Takes all the zest out of mealtime, doesn't it?” Henry grinned at him, straightened up to shut the door.

“I guess.” Adam leaned against the cupboard, arms crossed. “I don't think about zest very often.”

“That much is obvious.” Henry did not spare him a glance as he went to the sink instead. “Water?”

Adam sighed. He'd had this conversation with Blue before, about trying harder with Henry. The conversation had not quite been an argument but should have devolved into one, especially when Blue had compared him to a shelter stray. Something to do with abstaining from interaction beyond his trusted few. Adam, she'd said, was not the type to snarl but he didn't come close either. Trapped between docile and hostile, a true neutral ground. It was most apparent when he spoke to Henry, who spat back venom under ostentatious vocabulary.

“Sure.” He said, picking at a patch of dry skin on his elbow. Much like his hands, his joints flecked and dried during these drier winter months. 

“You should look into lotion.” Henry pointed out, faucet on and back turned. By no account should he have seen the picking. Adam hated when he noticed things about him. It was like being trapped by a two way mirror.

“I'm fine.” 

“I have some. I'll even pretend not to notice you use it.”

“I'm fine.”

Henry passed him a glass of water, careful not to graze fingers. “Pride is a sin, I've heard.”

“I'm agnostic.”

“Also a sin, I imagine.” He said, turning to reopen the fridge, like a second approach would grant new results.

“Something like that.” Adam snorted, despite himself. He watched Henry, keen to absorb what little information could be filed away. The tender half moons of exhaustion barely peeking through his complexion should have indicated a lowering of defenses. Henry wore a bone deep exhaustion Adam recognized in mirrors and glass panels, another conundrum when paired with smooth skin and soft palms. 

“You know, Parrish,” Henry began, examining a bottle of relish. For no particular reason, really. Adam didn't think any of them particularly liked relish. Or had anything to put it on. “I am caught between a rock and a hard place with you.”

Could say the same for you. 

“Are you?” Adam crooked an eyebrow. 

“I'd like to know you, but you bristle and hiss if I get close. I’ve never seen a human practice overt piloerection.”

“Who uses piloerection in casual conversation?”

“Now, don't tell me this is casual.” Henry said, “I doubt you're the type for small talk.”

Adam wasn't, but he could pretend to be. He stared back. 

“I'm not a fan of it.” Henry admitted, setting the condiments down. “Pickles are good for muscle cramps. We should keep pickles on hand.”

“Blue isn't big on pickles.” Adam explained.

“And neither are you?”

“I don't care either way.” 

“You know we've known each other a year and I don't know anything about you.” He shrugged, “Not for lack of trying.”

Adam scoffed, “I'm not hiding anything.”

“Didn’t say you were.” Henry said, “You don't offer anything up, either.”

He couldn't argue with that. “And you do?”

Henry considered this, glancing at the ceiling like it held an answer. “Blue is very expressive isn't she?”

Well that was a given. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“It's something I admire about her, you know.” He tapped the side of the fridge, a one two three rhythm. “She always seems able to say what's on her mind. How she feels. You know who she is, you know? She's good at showing it.”

Adam swallowed. “Yeah. She is.”

“I think that's one thing we know about each other, then.” Henry continued, resting his chin on the door, rocking back and forth on his toes. 

“What's that?” Adam took a sip of water when Henry caught his eye, smiled a little sad. A little triumphant too.

“We both wish we knew how to show who we are, don't we?”

==

Alright that's all. Thanks for asking and tuning in!

ask about my wips (or don't you don't have to i swear)

[eichan2d]

Am I going to justify a man? Yes, ashamedly. I'm being to impatient with myself posting this before making an illustration for it? Absolutely, I'll add it later if someday I draw it. BUT here is...

A Darizzie fanfic

Continuation of Kitty's diary (I'm doing it from memory, I really don't want to read it again).

---

The soda dripped from Daring’s hair, the laugh at his back woke him up from his shock, so annoying that anyone could recognize it, he saw Kitty minutes before on the lobby, but didn't expect to be a victim of one of her stupid jokes in that moment, he turned furious to look at her, finding instead just a smile that vanished moments before and two empty seats, which was weird because when he saw Kitty, she was with Lizzie. Then it hit him, it wasn't just another prank, his eyes roamed the place looking for the future queen, catching her on the way to the exit, fast but without running, keeping her regalness as always.

“I’ll go to the bathroom.” The words came out without looking at his companion.

“I shouldn't wait for you, right?” Duchess question finally made him look at her, meeting his worry with her anger. “Aaand this isn't about revenge. You should hurry then.”

And so he did, running after Lizzie to the exit of the building, shouting her name which only made her go faster.

“Please! Listen please!” He reached her hand, once away from the crowd, a little inside the enchanted forest. She quickly got rid of and turned to face him, with gritting teeths and glassy eyes. “There’s a misunderstanding.”

“I'm absolutely aware of it. I thought you changed, I thought we had something but it turned out it was all that, A MISUNDERSTANDING.” The tears finally came down her cheeks, ruining her painted heart.

“No, I… I'm not sure what exactly you thought, but if you think that me and Duchess… there's nothing between us! Well, nothing romantically.”

She just looked at his eyes, hoping for a good explanation.

“Well, since about 2 or 3 years ago, I found that Duchess was a fan of this saga of movies, we talked for a long time about it and we always go to watch every movie of the franchise from that day on.”

“That's the stupidest excuse I ever heard in my life.”

“I know Lizzie that I have a past, one where I enjoyed the damsel’s attention, but I never actually went out with them. The only one was Apple and that was because of our destiny, our families.” He reached to take Lizzie's hands again, involving them in his. “I've never had something as serious and as real as what we have, because there was no misunderstanding, WE have something and it's the greatest something I've ever experienced. I know I don't deserve the trust, but I'll do anything to earn it.”

The princess looked at his hands, then to his eyes, they looked sincere, like the time when he explained about the bet, and that time he wasn't lying.

“You'll have to work a lot for it.” Both smiled tenderly to each other.

“I told you, anything.”

“Kneel and beg for it.”

Without letting time for her to clarify he did it, he knew it could be just a joke of hers or maybe she really expected him but he didn't mind do it and the action was the perfect way to show her how important she was to him. “Please, please, please forgive me and give me a chance.” The prince implored without letting go of her hands.

“I guess I can't refuse if you ask me that way.” She responded between sobs and nervous chuckles.

��Thank you.” He got up to make a reverence, finally letting go of her hands.

“Wanna go back to the movie? I'll go to my room. Not really in form to be looked at right now.”

“Well, me neither.” Answered the price while touching his wet hair. “Guess that makes us the perfect companion to the other until we get in the castle. We can say a magical rain cloud attacked us.”

Lizzie giggled at that, “Yeah, that's a good idea.”

And so they both walked to the dorms, rubbing their hands every few steps. Ever After wasn't ready yet to know the truth about their reputations.

---

Idk, just been obsessed with them, tomorrow I have an exam and I just wanted to finish this.